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Me, last year. I probably haven\u2019t changed much.<\/em><\/p>\n
Five years in French, five years in English. It\u2019s weird because in my head it feels like I barely started to write in English and that most of my blog is in Royal Language<\/em> but it\u2019s not. It also feels weird that as much time passed since \u201809 than it did between \u201804 and \u201809. The past five years feel like two.<\/p>\n Est ce que je pourrais encore \u00e9crire en fran\u00e7ais ? Je pense pas. Des fois \u00e7a me manque d\u2019\u00e9crire des trucs genre \u201c\u00e7a fait mal au cul quand m\u00eame MERDE\u201d<\/em> but it\u2019s pretty much what I write in English, so. I really feel good knowing that just by switching language I can now reach way, way more people. Communication is about this and I\u2019m a global child.<\/p>\n In 2004 Facebook had launched and only a couple of Americans in a campus knew about it. Jacques Chirac was still France\u2019s president. Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Jerry Goldsmith, Sacha Distel, Rick James and more joined the underground. Meanwhile, I\u2019m setting up this blog on my own, using at that time .Text, a brand new CMS in .Net. It\u2019s confusing (ten years later, setting up a domain name with a website on your own is still hilariously tedious and fucked up) I\u2019m geeking out and finally I can blog on July 16th 2004. I was already blogging in 03 for a friend but now it\u2019s my thing<\/em>.<\/p>\n 1,410 posts. 9,845 comments. Akismet has protected your site from 183,271 spam comments already. There are 8,741 comments in your spam queue right now.<\/em> Averaging 4,000-5,000 visitors a month and 80K page views, whatever. <\/p>\n In \u201804 comments were so important in the blogging paradigm. Now no one cares about comments, after ten years we all know how it goes, either people suck on your shaft or they want to cut it. Mildly interesting and emotionally tiring.<\/p>\n People don\u2019t read anymore, I don\u2019t know how much they were ten years ago. Now it looks like it\u2019s 30 minutes a day for 5 hours of TV? I pretty much do the exact opposite and that\u2019s probably why I\u2019m lonely too sometimes.<\/p>\n Anonymous? At that time, anonymous really meant troll and no substance. Today, anonymous can be substantial and great \u2013see people on Reddit and 4Chan- but it still means troll. To me anonymous is in the long run toxic, it modifies your persona and you basically become a dick. When your real name is attached to thousands and thousands of words, you pay attention quite a bit. But it also has so much more weight or I like to think so because when I read something very interesting and that I can put a face, a name, a place on it, it makes it way more real and true. It stays in my mind.<\/p>\n #BUTTS. So there\u2019s a picture of my ass somewhere in the archive and it\u2019s still in the top 3 of what people are searching for on my blog with my articles on a MIDI game audio engine. It\u2019s fun. Sex and sound, those things are neat.<\/p>\n I always liked the idea of leaving a trace of my life here, for future bored historians. I mean now it\u2019s just ten but I see myself blogging until the end, so when I\u2019ll hit thirty or forty years worth of blog posts, that will be quite interesting to read I think. Like, they always try to decipher what happened in the past with me it will be like, \u201cBAM here you go, forty years of personal notes on what was going on with my life here, sounds, pictures and shit you\u2019re welcome\u201d<\/em>. You will just need to be able to read, which might be a \u201cskill\u201d in the near future.<\/p>\n Perspective? I am still the same wishing I was skateboarding more but with like, so much more knowledge. I wish I knew how many pages and articles I have read to blog about, it\u2019s probably ten or twenty times the amount of posts I have created. Maybe I feel a slight fatigue though. Computer games, they\u2019re awesome but there\u2019s so much frustration too. I totally get Jon Blow\u2019s bit, \u201cyou\u2019re 35 and you somewhat don\u2019t really want to introduce yourself as making games\u201d<\/em>, I didn\u2019t feel that way a few years ago and it makes me frown.<\/p>\n There are books about adoption for parents who want to, but there\u2019s no book for 30+ years old adopted people and I could write one, the title would be \u201cGot Confused?\u201d. The simple fact that ethnic wars happen and seem validated by people choosing sides sort of denies my entire life, like it couldn\u2019t happen. The Exception Dilemma. But it happened and it is happening even though having lived exclusively with white people for 35 years as my scope widened has been weighing on me. Because of the bullshit. Because of the \u201cI love other cultures, especially mine\u201d<\/em> fuckery that everyone is applying. I\u2019m really out of that loop (whatever culture has something good, I\u2019ll take it) and I love it but it isolates the shit out of me. The more humanist you are, the more satellite you become and gravitate in an empty space.<\/p>\n Sometimes I see a white person alone in the middle with tons of black people around and you can read the despair on their faces while they try so hard to maintain a straight face, it\u2019s too much. I\u2019m on another level of relationship, a tourist level where I\u2019m too curious to judge and too genuine to be scared. If I enter a Mexican shop with Mexicans around, they can tell with my pants up, being polite and smiling that I am just like them even though I\u2019m not. To respect other humans is some basic stuff. Or I\u2019m at the caf\u00e9 surrounded by every ethnic background possible, everyone is smiling and I\u2019m reading that Arabs and Jews can\u2019t live together since 1947. Uh yes, they could.<\/p>\n It\u2019s funny and fucking twisted how shit works in this world.<\/p>\n Without blogging I wouldn\u2019t be in L.A. today. I met my first California friends online by reading a blog, I didn\u2019t want to wait for French websites to translate articles and news I wanted to read so I was going ahead and reading them, \u201cconnecting\u201d with the West coast without really realizing it. When Digg was Reddit, man. I spent so many evenings back in France reading hilarious stuff and learning about English\/US\/Aussie culture. I\u2019ll never quite understand your thirst for greed in your mind or sugar in your plate but you guys are some funny motherfuckers. Then I visited CA, fell in love with someone and I was like why not make the big jump? I like it here. Well that was a bit presumptuous to think it would go without trouble but here I am, settling down.<\/p>\n Thank you for reading that stuff from time to time, I hope you learn some things here and there and I\u2019m sorry when I\u2019m cloudy and can\u2019t really express things correctly aka therapy time.<\/p>\n Onward on the next decade. Plan: sustain some income using my skills, buy some land, build a passive house. I might need the next two decades though. May your life be awesome, awesome reader.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I started I was all giddy about the idea of blogging for ten years, there, it\u2019s done. Me, last year. I probably haven\u2019t changed much. Five years in French, five years in English. It\u2019s weird because in my head it feels like I barely started to write in English and that most of my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1873"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1873"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1873\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1874,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1873\/revisions\/1874"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1873"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1873"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1873"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}