{"id":2167,"date":"2016-07-16T23:46:15","date_gmt":"2016-07-16T23:46:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/?p=2167"},"modified":"2016-07-16T23:46:15","modified_gmt":"2016-07-16T23:46:15","slug":"parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/2016\/07\/parents\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>(I wrote this months ago, just making adjustments to the new now)<\/p>\n<p>Following my usual half hour on Skype with my parents on Sunday morning, I started to think about them when they got me. I mean, making the decision of adopting a child.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s wild.<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Harold summer mountain\" href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/haroldito\/485209352\/in\/album-72157600180023889\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Harold summer mountain\" src=\"https:\/\/c1.staticflickr.com\/1\/195\/485209352_37483d7aef_z.jpg?zz=1\" width=\"640\" height=\"431\" \/><\/a><script async src=\"\/\/embedr.flickr.com\/assets\/client-code.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>     <br \/><em>Everything is new and fancy at that time hence my face, dad looks like a young Popovich.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>They couldn\u2019t conceive a kid at that time. And I\u2019m sure my dad wanted to do more than the basic thing of finding a white baby. He was like <em>\u201cfuck it if we can\u2019t make our kid, let\u2019s save one that really needs help.\u201d<\/em> That\u2019s how I understand their decision to adopt a six year old black kid. I mean, that\u2019s punk as fuck. Unless the reason was to secure a crib in paradise later, then it\u2019s kind of lame but whatever.<\/p>\n<p>Older foster kids do not having the best odds in life. Parentless and not a baby? Some would even say <em>dude you\u2019re so fucked. You\u2019ll be sniffing glue by the age of 9.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So anyway. Very bold move from them that worked out pretty well for both of us, back then. In today\u2019s France or US I would never think that this is a good idea. Between my parents and I it\u2019s still a lot of pain and incomprehension and attempts to make it up for whatever etc. It is a very singular relationship and it was at a great time and place to make it happen. If I look back 80s Paris was one of the most open, richest culture ever seen on earth. Not kidding. There was a strong inclusiveness that disappeared now that everyone is back to heritage shit. Yes, it was fake like Benetton ads. But you fake it until you make it. <\/p>\n<p>We didn\u2019t make it and we\u2019re not faking it anymore. Our recent failures to live in peace together, the fact that it only marginally gets better cut me really deep. My crumbling world got me like:<\/p>\n<p><img src=\"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-u8UIhyjavT0\/V4rAEoj0E7I\/AAAAAAAACm8\/Xd8stg7M8WAgscTWmkcWF5g5ADcuhJgJACCo\/s400\/55181940.jpg\" \/><\/p>\n<p>If I had one, I couldn\u2019t imagine having to teach my kid about Sandra Bland, Alton and Philando, or Trump. Even less in the context of adopting a child different from myself. <em>\u201cso you see daddy is black and has to deal with some stuff you will never have to deal with unless you\u2019re hanging out with me but then it will be very different and then it\u2019s complicated\u201d<\/em>. Just thinking about the prospect of doing that makes my eyes turn like mini oceans. It\u2019s so hard. The privilege of seeing extremely clearly how much we are not together at all, despite what the president says and what we say to ourselves. I have it.<\/p>\n<p>I feel like my parents and I are humbly nurturing a mutual respect for our differences and that it\u2019s pretty unique to us. They don\u2019t do that with my sister they gave birth to. I don\u2019t see that with other parents. It\u2019s very fragile love and at the same time it\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Graphene\" target=\"_blank\">graphene<\/a> love.<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Way Back When\" href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/haroldito\/28067257810\/in\/dateposted\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Way Back When\" src=\"https:\/\/c3.staticflickr.com\/9\/8795\/28067257810_31cb3cdfdc_z.jpg\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" \/><\/a><script async src=\"\/\/embedr.flickr.com\/assets\/client-code.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m thankful. I try to do my best. I just want to love and make the shit the shit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(I wrote this months ago, just making adjustments to the new now) Following my usual half hour on Skype with my parents on Sunday morning, I started to think about them when they got me. I mean, making the decision of adopting a child. It\u2019s wild. Everything is new and fancy at that time hence [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2167"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2167"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2168,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2167\/revisions\/2168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}