Something weird happened this year. I started smoking cigarettes again for half the year, and then I stopped completely. For the first time not smoking tobacco at all. So it\u2019s been like a few months.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s weird. First it\u2019s disappointing: I thought I would gain so much more breathing room, I guess I\u2019ve been physically active enough to compensate. It did get better, I don\u2019t have those first 3 or 4 out-of-breath minutes on my bike anymore but it\u2019s not crazy and it looks like it won\u2019t get that much better.<\/p>\n
I sweat less. I\u2019m far more sleepy I\u2019m yawning hard at 930pm now.<\/p>\n
But also I feel losing a sense of urgency, as if now that I\u2019m pretty much not doing anything against my body I can live forever so no rush needed. It\u2019s fucking weird.<\/p>\n
Focus. Really hard to focus in my mind. I can focus on paper and go through the motions but like, why bother? I\u2019ve never felt this way. I suspect nicotine to play on my feelings to get me back on smoking though.<\/p>\n
Well last night gave me reasons to go back to smoking YOLO and shit but I won\u2019t. I\u2019ll try.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Something weird happened this year. I started smoking cigarettes again for half the year, and then I stopped completely. For the first time not smoking tobacco at all. So it\u2019s been like a few months. It\u2019s weird. First it\u2019s disappointing: I thought I would gain so much more breathing room, I guess I\u2019ve been physically […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2220"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2221,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220\/revisions\/2221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}