I\u2019m writing my book proposal now that I have my FirstDraft. There\u2019s something called competition analysis in which I have to find books kind of like mine. Well, there aren\u2019t a lot of those.<\/p>\n
Looking on Amazon.com I saw and read summaries of a lot of books on adoption, foster families etc. I hadn\u2019t paid attention to those before. Never felt the need to care about that literature. What is going on is:<\/p>\n
– Most are about that Christian thing. Most are written by white moms. And most are about the convenient but also kind of dull story where people look back and find their biological parents and relatives. Everyone was reunited weee.<\/em><\/p>\n I don\u2019t have none of that. I don\u2019t have biological relatives, at all. None, zero. I don\u2019t have any idea of what my biological parents look(ed) like. No sisters or brothers, old aunties, someone? Nope. I have been spawned on this earth. That\u2019s how it feels. I wasn\u2019t there, and then I was.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not crying about not having what most people have in one way or another, I\u2019m more realizing that if I always feel different, it\u2019s really because of that spawn thing. It wired me differently. It makes me care about everything and at the same time allows me to be ice cold, utterly pragmatic when needed.<\/p>\n For instance I\u2019m not for the death penalty at all, but Dylan Roof needs to go. He can\u2019t be released in the streets \u2013he wouldn\u2019t live for long anyway-, keeping him in jail for life is useless and extremely expensive. Sorry man, you just needed to not murder innocents. People might see conflict here. I don\u2019t. I\u2019m just pragmatic.<\/p>\n That\u2019s why I love playing games like toys, grinding rules to see how strong\/interesting they are but I don\u2019t care about finishing a game or having the high score. I don\u2019t need goals (when playing, of course in life I have some). I can admire, have fun, play inside something for a long time. Goals bother me, in a way. They\u2019re artificial.<\/p>\n Being spawned pushed me to overwhelmingly care about *actual* things. It\u2019s hard to explain.<\/p>\n I so want to fix or make things better that I look for simplicity and realness all the time. Anything that makes this more confusing or further away, I avoid. I want to know what\u2019s going on. The as close as possible truth, the most unaltered reality. Then we fix it and enjoy it.<\/p>\n Spawned. That could be a book title.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019m writing my book proposal now that I have my FirstDraft. There\u2019s something called competition analysis in which I have to find books kind of like mine. Well, there aren\u2019t a lot of those. Looking on Amazon.com I saw and read summaries of a lot of books on adoption, foster families etc. I hadn\u2019t paid […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2488"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2488"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2488\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2489,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2488\/revisions\/2489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}