{"id":2782,"date":"2019-03-12T16:37:44","date_gmt":"2019-03-12T16:37:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/?p=2782"},"modified":"2019-03-12T16:37:44","modified_gmt":"2019-03-12T16:37:44","slug":"it-was-diffrnt-4-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/2019\/03\/it-was-diffrnt-4-me\/","title":{"rendered":"It was diffrnt 4 me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>The strange thing was that, inside, I always felt I was the same as everyone around me. I am just like you, I thought when kids squinted at me in mockery of my own eyes; why can\u2019t you see that? When I was young <strong>I certainly felt more like a white girl than an Asian one<\/strong>, and sometimes it was shocking to catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror and be forced to catalog the hated differences.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Nicole Chung, All You Can Ever Know.<\/p>\n<p>Nicole was adopted and I\u2019m reading her memoir. This is so wild to me.<\/p>\n<p>I never felt like wanting to be white like everyone around me. Never. My first hero or at least the first that I remember was <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Space_Sheriff_Gavan\">Space Sheriff Gavan<\/a>, an Asian hero in an Asian world.<\/p>\n<p>So there I was, a black kid in a white village, adulating an Asian fictional character. I guess the idea of conformation, to be like everyone around simply didn\u2019t exist in my mind: there are human beings. We have different shapes. The end. It seemed like the purest truth.<\/p>\n<p>This idea fit me, singled out as I was. It was reasonable, stuck in reality and allowed myself to exist without thinking that something was wrong with me. I\u2019ll take that. <\/p>\n<p>What hurts reading that part is that Nicole was so not used to diversity that she couldn\u2019t do anything but envy her white friends. There was immediately a hierarchy to her. It seems so toxic. It scares me to read the rest and her interactions with black folks, if that happens at some point.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The strange thing was that, inside, I always felt I was the same as everyone around me. I am just like you, I thought when kids squinted at me in mockery of my own eyes; why can\u2019t you see that? When I was young I certainly felt more like a white girl than an Asian [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2782"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2782"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2783,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2782\/revisions\/2783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}