{"id":3197,"date":"2020-10-25T23:05:34","date_gmt":"2020-10-25T23:05:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/?p=3197"},"modified":"2020-10-25T23:05:34","modified_gmt":"2020-10-25T23:05:34","slug":"us-dudes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/2020\/10\/us-dudes\/","title":{"rendered":"Us dudes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Me, my whole life, witnessing men in general:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Last year someone asked me why I don\u2019t hang out with dudes much. And my answer was something like \u201cbecause we\u2019re stupid, men are too often lame, I don\u2019t need that energy\u201d<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Now look at that man Toobin. Or Cube and 50. Or all the men agreeing with them. The NFL<\/a>. It\u2019s a LOT of exhaustion and embarrassment right there and I\u2019m not interested in that. ANGTFTS. Period.<\/p>\n

The only groups of dudes I grew up with: basketball locker room. Could be fun for a second, was more likely stupid. I\u2019m out. Nerds? I never had the passive-aggressiveness they have toward women because I was doing well with ladies, you know, listening and doing magical negro stuff. Skateboarders? Pretty chill overall but I was starting to argue that women should definitely be able to skate without being interrupted about if she sucks it, you know? Online? It\u2019s just cult\/guru type of stuff. I\u2019m out.<\/p>\n

The best way to deal with men for me is one by one or in very small groups, with a task at hand. That\u2019s when we\u2019re alright. Boasting is tucked in. Mutual respect is out. We\u2019re doing some work, I\u2019m learning from that dude, he\u2019s learning from me, we\u2019re fixing a server issue or cruising the streets, whatever. It works.<\/p>\n

As soon as this shit is done, I\u2019m out. I have yet to find a group of dudes that doesn\u2019t go patriarch af at some point. I\u2019ve always questioned everything and patriarchy was in my crosshair rather quickly. I won\u2019t hype you on that, never really did. It\u2019s putrid to me.<\/p>\n

I understand what Jemele Hill means with her tweet. Dismantling patriarchy is a daunting task, it\u2019s easier to side with it. Brothers are understandably exhausted, so they side with something that still stands.<\/p>\n

But also dismantling patriarchy is not even really a goal by itself. <\/p>\n

The goal is to get a better functioning society and that old system is in the way. That\u2019s it! Uninstalling patriarchy is nothing personal against men or women profiting from it, it\u2019s just that it doesn\u2019t work in the world we\u2019ve been in for decades<\/em> now. It constantly shows these days. We all work, we all are (more) free, we all need the same things but half of us make 30% less and get killed by their \u201cloved\u201d ones at high rates. That\u2019s so disturbing, I don\u2019t understand how we can be ok about this. You can\u2019t even talk about something like this with a group of men chilling at a restaurant, you know it\u2019s going to go south at some point with a joke or a \u201cjoke\u201d.<\/p>\n

You can only convince men one by one. Only then we face accountability. Responsibility. Emotions.<\/p>\n

As soon as there\u2019s a crowd it\u2019s bravado bullshit, top 5 of all time and inane thoughts. I\u2019m out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me, my whole life, witnessing men in general: Last year someone asked me why I don\u2019t hang out with dudes much. And my answer was something like \u201cbecause we\u2019re stupid, men are too often lame, I don\u2019t need that energy\u201d. Now look at that man Toobin. Or Cube and 50. Or all the men agreeing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3197"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3197"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3198,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3197\/revisions\/3198"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}