{"id":4812,"date":"2024-01-03T16:22:10","date_gmt":"2024-01-03T16:22:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/?p=4812"},"modified":"2024-01-03T16:22:10","modified_gmt":"2024-01-03T16:22:10","slug":"adoptees","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/2024\/01\/adoptees\/","title":{"rendered":"Adoptees"},"content":{"rendered":"

https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/abandoned-baby-birth-story-adopted-korea_n_6553d968e4b05cf51a16a5c2<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s always the same pattern with women adoptees: adopted, wondering about their past, a husband scoops them up, they have a baby and the story arc ends. \u201cYou were alone in your life but now you have re-created a family that is YOURS.\u201d<\/em> Everyone smiles. It\u2019s adorable. And scene.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a lot different for a black man adoptee. There are logistics issues; I couldn’t just simply become a wife, I\u2019m a boring straight so that doesn\u2019t work. I\u2019ve had to find my place in this world within a system that is quite actively not helping black men (or if it does help, it is bound to be shut down at all costs), and more likely trying to kill us all or make us as impotent as possible.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a pretty big difference! <\/p>\n

Childhood trauma or not, difficulty of connecting with people or not, I\u2019ve had to make moves because there was and is just no other way. I\u2019ve had to forget that things are a bit different for me. I never used my energy to make things up about my past. I used it to funnel myself into a sense of normalcy. We here. It\u2019s 100% OK to be here. Grafted or not, it doesn\u2019t really matter. Relationships are built. Literally and figuratively, a big heart is built too. All of that is something you do, not something that is.<\/p>\n

My birth family and blood relatives never existed for me and likely never will. It\u2019s fine! It\u2019s easy to have a kid by mistake. Very easy. Birth happened, I was the result. The adults who created me bounced. Some others showed up and said \u201che\u2019s cute, let\u2019s grow him well\u201d<\/em> and it went on. There\u2019s no narrative thread, really. That\u2019s something I see a lot: adoptees who become writers because they think a lot about stories. I think a lot about systems. And fixing them.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m more design-minded. Systems create stuff. Stuff moves on and creates other stuff and systems. It is endless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/abandoned-baby-birth-story-adopted-korea_n_6553d968e4b05cf51a16a5c2 It\u2019s always the same pattern with women adoptees: adopted, wondering about their past, a husband scoops them up, they have a baby and the story arc ends. \u201cYou were alone in your life but now you have re-created a family that is YOURS.\u201d Everyone smiles. It\u2019s adorable. And scene. It\u2019s a lot different for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4812"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4812"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4812\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4813,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4812\/revisions\/4813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4812"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4812"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/har0ld.com\/playground\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4812"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}