This is a bottle of Head&Shoulders and I’m about to drink it
I just arrived in San Francisco, a bit tired I have this iphone to take pictures, today is the Apple conference and I don’t care. I’m netbooking my way through Win7 and it’s cool.
At least once a day someone is telling me in the street “I like your hat!” and it feels great.
I think I’m lacking so much love that the stupidest thing I can enjoy, I do. Kind of cool because I’m like a camel, I can perform and survive with so few. This scarcity is well matching the game industry.
On the other hand it breaks me. I no longer can find a simple way to give/receive because I’m so scared now to put my feelings on the table. Not afraid. Scared, like something I’m still figuring out how to manage while at the same time I care and do everything I can to please people, to make them feel great. This is the not afraid part.
I feel my heart is tremendous. And yet empty. I feel I’m always in “should I stay or should I go” stance about love and women. And as you know time is not waiting for you.
I’m reading Quincy Jones autobiography and the way he had no mother –well he had but a crazy one-, always in love with every women he was meeting and of course his dedication to music, makes me feel I’m quite normal somehow. 60s France seems like a dream for US black dudes.
Fifty years later a EU black dude feels the dream in the US. I dreamed about me with no more shyness and kissing her and make the world a better place. Yeah, all at the same time. The craziest things on the planet happened so I can go and try to do my thing (yeah I’m digging the Tim Ferris shit like crazy, thanks to Sean & Tara).
And then I’m stuck, not taking all the chances as if it would burn me.
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU