Archive for the ‘Me Myself&I’ Category

Holding on

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2020

It’s dead quiet besides my mellow funk in the background. I’m watching this sunset, breeze flowing in my face through the tiny squares of the screen. A couple explosions. A siren. Summer in just a few weeks. Wow.

I saw about David McAtee.

Some friends are breaking down, going through a lot. I don’t know how I’m holding on. I keep at my routines like a cop macing a protester. I drink a lot of water before jumping on social media. I tell myself that no news is still good news, it’s the truth. I send mental messages to the people I think about. Pretty sure they’re receiving them, it is science after all.

I’d like to say I love you to all of my beautiful black people out there.

I love you.

Dear Black People

Saturday, May 30th, 2020

They profit from us and then they kill us.

Get the fuck off social media. Use it for the lolz and move on.

Get yourself a self-hosted blog, website, photo gallery, streaming site etc.

Take care of your content, your Intellectual Property, your Brand.

They profit from us and then they kill us.

Get the fuck off those services. Minimize the shit out of them in your life.

A self-hosted solution is $15/month. Learn, build and keep going.

You need to plant the seed now.

You need help? Hit me up.

Take care of y’all’s chicken.

I miss them folks

Saturday, May 30th, 2020

She only came to get help a few times. She’s this thin, 70s clothes wearing black woman. A nerdy one with big glasses and a soft, enthusiastic voice. I like to imagine my biological grandma to be just like that.

One time we had a great conversation about computers and the state of software. She’s a retired programmer! She was warning me about Google (that she has taken off her laptop completely), like she had to.

But anyway, this time she comes in to fix some stuff and asks me how to shut down Windows 10. There are a few more steps compared to 7. I show her. She laments that the computer shop guy took the freedom to install 10 over her 7 that she very much enjoyed. I nod furiously, this is some bullshit.

She zips up her laptop bag, stands up and says softly, bending over, “you know, I could beat his ass”

I “YOOOOOOO” really loud in my head and looking at her I immediately answer, smiling,

“let’s go”

wow wow

Friday, May 29th, 2020

This is a lot isn’t it.

Meanwhile my main computer is down for weeks, I badly burned my finger while making some latte and it’s pretty cold outside.

I should be able to order nice cuddles for delivery, this is outrageous.

Love Mind Game

Monday, May 25th, 2020

I re-watched Mind Game. I kind of have no words on how amazing it is.

But first I have to get it off my chest: the 11 year old, breast obsessed angle is juvenile and didn’t age well. It’s just unnecessary. Breasts and ample, large ones are great and can be used in animated movies, no problem. But the obsession is just childish which is stupid because the movie’s theme –be yourself, live your life fully- is not childish at all. A little dissonance here.

Having said that, I still believe that Mind Game is the most amazing animated movie I’ve ever seen. It mixes absolutely every single technique –rotoscoping, slide show, stop motion, 3D, photos, cel shading– available at that time and everything works together. If you love graphic design, it’s a joy to watch and a must-see.

It was Masaaki Yuasa’s second movie that he directed. Yep. I’m not jealous at all.

Every shot has some of the wildest angles and crazy perspectives you can possibly get. It puts to shame so many narrative video games that want to be edgy, 16 years later. It is just phenomenal. The sound design is fantastic, the music is perfect. Especially for that scene that still gives me goose bumps. The love scene (no spoiler ahead).

The way it happens after they both laugh at something really cute and funny… The way the music starts and how it moves on screen… I think it’s one of the best depiction of making love I have ever seen (including the reference to old movies). That’s it. That’s how it looks like if emotions felt while kissing and feeling someone’s skin were visuals.

Find a way to watch it. And because it’s dense as hell at first, watch it a few times. A true hidden gem.

Foster mom

Sunday, May 24th, 2020

I saw my foster mom on video chat last Saturday and it feels like it didn’t even happen a week later.

We looked at each other without saying a word for seconds at time. Wide open eyes and smiles. Calling me with my nickname that only her and my cousin call me with. Asking me the usual questions. How are your parents? Do you have a girlfriend? I just say yes to everything, it’s easier.

She considers me her last son and I consider her my first mom. We’re joking that she’ll put all my handwritten cards in the casket when it will be time but I’m like “what time? Take your time”.

My parents and my foster family haven’t talk to each other in over 30 years. My foster dad passed away years ago. I just re-read my post when I was there. That day was so hard.

Both my family and foster family are having big (never happened before) internal fights. You know, people not talking to each other anymore, divorces etc. The thing is, EVERYONE talks to me. I’m not in bad terms with anyone. In the current context, having all kinds of white folks telling me how they feel when my black ass is in the US, mostly in Black America, in this political climate? Man, it’s beyond exhausting. Far beyond.

There are two things I will do when I finally get offered a full-time job: one, buy cigars and good wine and go up a hill for sunset.

Two, buy a plane ticket to go see my first mom and tell her how much I love and owe her.

Trolling as a service

Sunday, May 24th, 2020

Trolling is lucrative. Look at the current president. This is how he shot right up to the white house.

Look at this recent shit storm, Doja Cat. And before her, Emoblackthot who I still can’t believe did this shit. Fuck him. And her.

And before them Tyler, the Creator. People forget everything in 48 hours-2months max but I remember how harsh his anti-gay trolling was in 2009. It was brutal and totally not in the zeitgeist. Shocking for shocking value. It didn’t even look true.

Look at his ass today, gayer than a rainbow.

For the past twenty years mainstream culture showed that a lack of authenticity was more and more okay. Everything –reality TV, music careers, fighting the good fight– can be and sadly often is, made up. Go hard on the faux outrageously edgy, get viral, get deals, get money, feel weird and depressed. Get cancelled.

The twist is that individuals, us, still value authenticity a lot. That thing called trust is beautiful and will never not be beautiful. I cherish it like a Hobbit caressing his ring. It is still how we move socially speaking. Trust involved accountability and boring stuff like that. It works, though. It unleashes a needed peace of mind. I crave that and it looks like we all do, in some ways.

But money (and power, those two are the same) wise, especially in creative and artistic fields, we need to perform at various speed and we’re living in the “whatever it takes” paradigm because the world is an increasingly hard place (though it doesn’t have to be). We end up witnessing some wild stuff these days.

The dichotomy between performing (especially at the edge) and actually being, is hurting us so bad. We’re collectively neurotic now. I don’t like it.

The Wolff House

Friday, May 22nd, 2020

I’m a John Lautner hoe. I can’t lie. I visited a few houses he’s made and they changed my life. We really all live in shoe boxes and it’s dumb.

Here comes the Wolff House that I was eyeing for a bit. It went for sale last year and a couple tours were organized. I hit up my special agent and she got me in.

John is a goddamn supreme master of volumes and mystery. From the street going up, you don’t fucking know anything about what’s going on in this “house”. But you know it has to be neat. You can just feel it in the detail, from the floating white ceiling to the brass-made balcony to the giant rock walls.

This is the carport. The entrance to the house is on the right, hiding. There’s more style in here than in the entire Gehry’s catalog. It’s strong yet light. It’s aggressive yet peaceful. I would take pictures all the time in there. Notice the little white camera that wasn’t supposed to be there. John would rip this shit off. John would be right.

It is a bachelor pad. It is not big. But boy, it’s sumptuous. Here some bad picture of the 16 feet doors (that you push like they weight less than a model on the runway) that open onto the balcony with its built-in bench. Absolutely wonderful. You feel extremely protected yet free. Love it.

Peep this! How the ceiling is cantilevered to oblivion (I mean, as far as technically and physically possible), floating over the rock walls. Having this light coming through a line, all along the house, is life-changing. It does make something thick and vertical a lot more open and airy. The recessed lighting looking like the one in the carport. The continuous wood line under it, underlining the ceiling and hiding more lighting… It’s smart as hell, brings unity in the house and ultimately, feels good to the human chilling inside said house.

So this is the view from the bedroom, under the living room. A level below is the small (but deep) pool. It’s cantilevered over the road. See the little concrete triangle? This was supposed to extend over the road, but the city of Angels said “uh, nah bruh”. John said “who do you think you are? I am! Let’s keep it but let’s make it rise”. The rest is History. It looks cool. It adds a little bit of privacy when soaking. John Lautner didn’t give a fuck.

Back to the balcony. When sitting on the built-in bench, this is what is in the corner. A built-in BBQ. Small, but the house is small too so stop hating, jeez Louise. It’s a detail but it’s really well designed and placed, smoke wise. D E T A I L

Well, I was taking notes. This glass is roughly thick like my finger. That is a seriously long sheet of glass though. *costs estimates happening*

Harold for the corner 3 above the road!.. BANG. (yes, there’s a little gap in the corner, I’m suing)

This goes to the guest house on the right and to the laundry room. This means that you have to use those stairs up and down to do laundry. Yikes. That shit is cool looking but you’re tipsy and you can die rather quickly. Split your head wide open on mean concrete steps. No railing, nothing to hold your ass. If you die, you die. John didn’t care about no kids or no pets.

Small, vertical. Lots of stairs to move around. Amazing feeling of shelter and protection without feeling like living in a cave.

If I could, I ‘d buy it and chill in there in winter when I feel like it. Just normal stuff.

If I was producing

Friday, May 22nd, 2020

If I was producing… is a 12 beat collection that I recently published. Check it out.

Beats are a special thing to create. As Prince said it, there’s joy in repetition. It’s particular to create something designed to loop. It’s a different challenge from composing a song. I love it.

This is a few years worth of beats I played with and couldn’t let go of. I decided to make a collection of them. And then, once they were finished earlier this week, I wondered who would spit on them. I also decided to make it a 50/50 men/women MCs because I wanted to. So yeah Bouncy is for Megan Thee Stallion. She’d tore that shit up with her deep, sexy ass voice. I think Kendrick’s screaming in the mic would make Brutally something brutaller. Crazy beat, I know. And so forth. Guru would’ve crushed it. I can’t even imagine Azelia Banks on Snakey. Pure madness.

You can also buy this little album and spit in your kitchen. Spit on the freeway. Spit during your workout. A few friends are already at it, what are you waiting for?


PS: next tracks are some electrorock and some cyberfunk. Stay tuned.


Tuesday, May 19th, 2020

I miss that place.

I was wondering why I didn’t play on the roof more often but then I remembered how sweaty I was holding a big ol’ bass amp in one hand while going up a ladder on a small balcony. Yeah, nope.

It was good though.