MinusOneMom

U.S. mom’s rejection of 7-year-old outrages Russia. Me too.

Like I said in a direct French-to-english-translation on Twitter, I was adopted at 6 in France and it was already hard. It still is, in some weird ways. So I’m not surprised. I just can’t believe that the US mom did that this way, fucking up the kid some more. She may not be a mother at all and that may be totally a good thing.

I read a take on a similar adoption working out well. Yeah, with people around for years, paying extra attention to a child growing up, it works. It’s just a gigantic energy investment and this mother was obviously not prepared.

Matching Lacoste shirts 10 years before they were hype in the Paris suburbs, sense of unity bla bla.

I said horrible things to my parents too. Like yelling I don’t love you and I want to go home (foster family) or secretly wanting really bad things happening to them. But things like that happen all the time with children, adopted or not. You’re just more eager to really express it when you don’t have any connection with your parents but a legal piece of paper.

And then you grow up. You feel that as adoptive parents they do a lot. Just by looking at how friends parents behaved could tell me that my parents with all the differences we had, were taking care of me and being attentive. Even if I didn’t like it. I was looking at it as a boring process before hitting 18 years old, the age where I could do whatever I want.

But it takes time. Patience. For both children and parents.

So in this respect, I think international adoption should only exists when there’s no more kids ready for adoption in the country. In the US each year there’s around 100 000 children available for adoption. Almost every year, half of them are not adopted. Searching for the poor kid at the opposite of the world always seemed weird for me. Weird in the way “you are just thinking that you are somewhat a god spreading happiness and it’s more about how you feel than actually helping a child” way. It’s even worse in France: 4 000 children adopted each year, 3 000 coming from foreign countries says Wikipedia.

Anyway, I guess the good thing is that adoption is happening less and less even if we’re talking much more about it now (adoption was huge in the 70s but taboo).

So you may ask: would you adopt a child? I wanted to when I was in my 20s. Now I’m 30 and man, I don’t feel I ever could. I don’t feel I could ever have a child actually. Trying to think about it is like googling google at Google HQs, a wormhole appears in my head and makes me feel like antimatter. Or something like that.