I have a hard time dealing with or can’t stand

Voice over

“Shooryuu-ken!”

It’s probably because I’ve been behind the scene watching and recording uninspired actors (hey it’s really hard to act without nothing but a few notes and pictures) who don’t give a shit about games but still. Scripts usually are ridiculously corny and phony and what is considered good (GTA IV, Uncharted) is not that great in the real world of screenplays. I hate all of the moments in Half Life 2 where NPCs talk to you. It feels so artificial, forced even if it’s well executed. I really prefer sound effects with voices, ala Arcade (Torchlight’s “Your pet, is overburdened”) and light text I can quickly skip. Is it wrong wanting to play when you’re playing a game? Right.

Japanese RPGs

It just feels archaic to me. I mean, always felt this way.

Talking about text. I just don’t understand how players can bear all these text boxes everywhere, all the time and move around with a goddamn gamepad. It’s just totally getting the fun out for me. I feel it as totally disrespectful. I admire people who can deal with it for dozens of hours for the sake of a cheesy romantic story and a sense of power. Or do I?

Grinding

Persistence wins but persistence for persistence is not a goal.

I waited for a well crafted action RPG game like Torchlight to get into it and try it at least, even if I saw so many souls lost clicking forever and beyond in Blizzard’s crack cocaine games. I don’t like the grind because I feel quickly bored after having a system in the system (dungeons, selling, enhance, repeat). Also, I feel cheated or artificially maintained in scarcity. The grind is so present in games today it’s… Depressing. I know it’s also useful but still. I have enough to deal with in real life, thanks.

3D third person view

Makes me want to stab him in the neck.

3D. Because in bitmap I don’t know, it’s fine. I already said it, I hate it. A nightmare for developers because gamers will always say that it’s not good (I only see Mario/Zelda as pretty much perfect), a nightmare for gamers because somehow in the game they will lose because of the freaking camera. The use of TPV is useful for sports games and simulation/race games but otherwise, it seems lame to me.

Stories

Some artwork is enough for me to create some theme and make me believe.

Don’t get me wrong, as a human being I love stories. I freaking love a good story. I don’t have any movie I like better than the Cohen brothers ones and they’re always pretty simple but how characters, lines and editing are unfolding the plot is pure awesome. But in games, oh boy. Unfolding a shitty and painful I’m-taking-myself-way-too-seriously story every time I stop playing –cutscene-, is totally useless in term of game experience. Serialized coitus interruptus, worst design ever.

Platform

The Mickey of the last 30 years, Mario.

OK, I’m pretty bad at them, always been (I’m pretty good at shoot’em up). I know that the genre is really part of the culture. But even with new nifty mechanics like in Braid or VVVVVV, there’s something utterly boring about playing a “new” platform game that I’ve been playing every year since I play computer games. If people are tired of FPS they should be from platform games too because seriously.

That doesn’t leave me with a lot of choice out there but I have enough nonetheless.

You?