“That empty, forever empty” Oh I know that thing, Louis. It started early when I learned that I didn’t have parents or brothers and sisters and understood that “forever alone” feeling very well. Orphans are some kind of cold ice motherfuckers with the biggest empathy you’ll see but anyway.
I got used to the idea of being alone. Like maybe a little too much. It makes me feel so powerful! I can stay days alone doing music, fighting my own little creative demons, feeling and filling the void, feeling like shit or feeling like the best warrior on earth.
And then I go out and enjoy so many things, kids smiling, the design of an aisle at a supermarket, the weird interaction of a mom and her kid, everything becomes fucking interesting and awesome. Then at some point I realize how much all of that is theater, people playing their roles. It’s all kind of fake and I go back to that sappy (sad and happy) loneliness that brings me to inspiration and analysis of things and overall making me feel good.
It’s a game, you have to be able to perform in both “forever empty” and “social” mode. The problem is –like Louis demonstrates- that we’re way too much into the social part, which is pure construction. It doesn’t really exist, you know? We’re willing to kill other people driving and texting so that we can feel NOT alone. Attention whorism reached its peak.
Disconnect. Take your time. Learn to play an instrument, learn to listen, read stuff. Be alone and deal with it. It’s pretty good. Also, you’ll die alone like everyone so get used to it.
Like Paul Mooney says “oh, death is coming. Just wait.”