Me, my whole life, witnessing men in general:
Last year someone asked me why I don’t hang out with dudes much. And my answer was something like “because we’re stupid, men are too often lame, I don’t need that energy”.
Now look at that man Toobin. Or Cube and 50. Or all the men agreeing with them. The NFL. It’s a LOT of exhaustion and embarrassment right there and I’m not interested in that. ANGTFTS. Period.
The only groups of dudes I grew up with: basketball locker room. Could be fun for a second, was more likely stupid. I’m out. Nerds? I never had the passive-aggressiveness they have toward women because I was doing well with ladies, you know, listening and doing magical negro stuff. Skateboarders? Pretty chill overall but I was starting to argue that women should definitely be able to skate without being interrupted about if she sucks it, you know? Online? It’s just cult/guru type of stuff. I’m out.
The best way to deal with men for me is one by one or in very small groups, with a task at hand. That’s when we’re alright. Boasting is tucked in. Mutual respect is out. We’re doing some work, I’m learning from that dude, he’s learning from me, we’re fixing a server issue or cruising the streets, whatever. It works.
As soon as this shit is done, I’m out. I have yet to find a group of dudes that doesn’t go patriarch af at some point. I’ve always questioned everything and patriarchy was in my crosshair rather quickly. I won’t hype you on that, never really did. It’s putrid to me.
I understand what Jemele Hill means with her tweet. Dismantling patriarchy is a daunting task, it’s easier to side with it. Brothers are understandably exhausted, so they side with something that still stands.
But also dismantling patriarchy is not even really a goal by itself.
The goal is to get a better functioning society and that old system is in the way. That’s it! Uninstalling patriarchy is nothing personal against men or women profiting from it, it’s just that it doesn’t work in the world we’ve been in for decades now. It constantly shows these days. We all work, we all are (more) free, we all need the same things but half of us make 30% less and get killed by their “loved” ones at high rates. That’s so disturbing, I don’t understand how we can be ok about this. You can’t even talk about something like this with a group of men chilling at a restaurant, you know it’s going to go south at some point with a joke or a “joke”.
You can only convince men one by one. Only then we face accountability. Responsibility. Emotions.
As soon as there’s a crowd it’s bravado bullshit, top 5 of all time and inane thoughts. I’m out.