We should not ever pay for sex, water and air. I don’t know, these things seem way too precious, too essential to have them monetized. Water largely is and that’s totally wrong and I really wish I hadn’t had to buy bottles (I still drink plenty of tap water, though).
I’m pretty liberal I guess so paying for sex shouldn’t bother me too much, but it does. Because I know that it’s not about sex.
“I’ll suck your tits for 2 credits!” Wait, that’s just wrong.
You see women who need sex, masturbate. Or because it’s obviously easier for them (17 times more contacted than men on OKCupid according to this), they’ll get a dude back home but really, maybe the best is using this vibrator and at the end, women don’t seek to pay for sex. It’s interesting to me that 50% of the population doesn’t seek to pay for sex while the other half overall thinks that it’s OK to do so. There’s something wrong if half of us don’t do it, right? Because it’s not worth it. Because men don’t pay for sex, they pay for something else, something men seek so hard. Power, charisma, or the illusion of having some. It’s very, very old news for feminists.
There’s this pretty amazing interview over the Rumpus with clients and sex workers.
And then the following summer, I wanted some money to buy something (some really cool mod boots that I would never be able to afford on my own) and I thought I could use his lust against him. He came to work way earlier than everybody else, so I showed up early too and told him I could do some of those things for money.
Very important, money. In the US people would do ANYTHING for easy money. Or get ANYTHING for free (this girl on The Soup getting a “slut butt” tattoo because it was free). It’s a disease at this point. So to buy some stupid shit, this young hetero dude is ready to blow some guy’s dick, “using his lust”. That’s fucked up, and that’s how it works for quite a lot of women too who only think about that material shit. I’d rather work a full year to get these boots than executing a pathetic plan like that.
At several points, I had disdain for certain acts, but when I felt trapped or needed rent or wanted those shoes, I crossed those self-imposed boundaries.
It’s important to note how people fuck themselves by getting used to easy money. Auto-coercion. Yes, it’s not only with prostitution.
I tried meeting women on the Internet, but fat, drunk and married does not exactly make for a compelling personals ad. And then one day, about ten years ago, I ran across a personals posting that was clearly an ad from an escort.
It’s incredible to me that men think that it’s normal to be fat drunk, in a relationship and not score pussy. Women do crazy ass shit to be sexy and grab some cocks! It ain’t free, for anyone! So dude grow a pair, divorce, hit the gym drink less and you might get some, for free (drinks not included). Not only it will be better for your entire self, it will cost you less. Men, stop being lazy ass losers with high demands.
The most positive experiences were always ones where there was a real emotional connection, where the sex part of the relationship took a back seat to just talking.
Note people, we’re talking about sex workers but it’s more like take-care-of-me-I’m-such-a-loser-I-have-no-friends workers. It’s NOT about sex. It’s about the power of having someone doing what you want, even just sit here and listen to your tribulations.
I think the thing I am most ashamed of is that I’ve been to Asian massage parlors. These are places with women who are very recent immigrants from China and Southeast Asia, and for a fixed door fee you can get a massage, and for a fixed “tip” you can have sex. On the one hand, it’s convenient; it’s cheaper than a typical escort and you don’t have to make an appointment in advance or have your references screened by the woman. You just show up. On the other hand, the sex is often not that great.
And call me naive, but what I discovered after a couple of trips to these places is that many of these women are victims of sex trafficking.
No shit, Sherlock. You’re naïve, you’re a moron and you don’t know how to use Wikipedia or a search engine for anything else but “escort close by”.
Other than the women in the massage parlors I visited, I honestly don’t believe that most of the women doing this felt degraded. The ones that were escorts who didn’t have pimps, didn’t have drug problems, and weren’t trafficked, I honestly believe that they chose their profession about as much as any of us choose our profession.
What is most when it’s the minority of sex work? Most have pimps, drug problems or are trafficked or all of the above. What is choice when you really need this money right now to pay some debt and not start a homeless life, money that would save your ass and that this thought is very well known by the one trying to hire you? You still have the choice but you know you will do it, for the sake of efficiency. This is how people also “choose” other not-so-great jobs. Duh. But if you demand weren’t there, there would be no supply either. You start this sad business, not sex workers.
Many years after my first blowjob-for-money experience, I went through a bi-curious phase and I guess I have to say now that I’m really a bisexual who leans hetero. Speaking only for myself, if my only two choices were becoming a warehouse picker for Amazon for $10 an hour, or sucking dicks ten times a day for $50 bucks a pop, I’d buy me some kneepads.
So many Americans would do anything for money. Greedy to the bone, to the core. Even on app markets, developers have a “whore mentality” trying to get you with anything with the help of disgustingly bad, sloppy apps. Easy money.
Somebody can point to, say, a fellatio porn scene where the guy is rough on the girl and calls her names, and say that it’s inherently degrading, and my argument would be that it’s only inherently degrading if the girl doesn’t want to do it. I mean, I’ve had it done to me. I thought it was a blast. And I didn’t even get paid.
Of course, everyone can have a blast with that kind of stuff. People can do whatever they want to themselves and partners sexually, it’s all right. It’s when you are paid, when it’s your job, your daily function in this society to be a bucket for cum from guys you wouldn’t bang, doing this not to have fun but to pay bills, your child school and debts that the situation is slightly different. If you can’t see the difference, I don’t know man.
The money changing hands is a way of saying, “This money symbolizes our agreement that this is temporary, a fantasy, it’s just pretend, and at the end of the hour we go our separate ways. Now c’mere and let’s pretend!”
I mean, the “pay and let’s pretend!” is sad to me going to Disneyland so in this case, it’s ridiculous. I don’t know how guys can do it again and again.
Next time you’re in a fast food drive-thru at 2am on the way home from some bar, look through the window at the people in the kitchen, see how they are spending their Friday nights for minimum wage, and think about humiliation. Read about chicken-processing plants, Amazon warehouses. There are a million humiliating ways to make a living in this capitalist world we live in.
So maybe we shouldn’t push people to do anything for money like you do? Maybe we should explain that you can be happy without a 5 bedroom house or crazy car rims or fucking shoes you want? Or that maybe waiting a little longer by working a low income job that doesn’t make you cry your soul out or want to try meth to escape is a better plan? Dignity is not about how much money you have/make, people. It’s about how you sleep at night. People lack education to understand that, but it doesn’t change the fact.
Also, people react very strongly against sex— or at least against sex done in a way that they disapprove of. People are going to say that sex work was created by the patriarchy, to serve the patriarchy, that it commodities women, treats them as objects to be bought and sold. I don’t agree. To believe that, you have to believe that all of these women lack agency, lack any will at all.
But it’s stupid to think it this way. Women try to make easy money and dudes like you are showing up and are ready to pay thousands of dollars. Supply, demand. Yes, it serves the patriarchy and builds up ignorance. Yes, it serves these women who will have all the chances to get fucked up in their future life but fair enough, a lot choose this way for money, attention and fame. Yes, a couple of women who haven’t been fucked up by ultra religious childhoods nor sexually abused, who love the taste of semen might have careers and make more money than what they do now with a “classic” job but it’s like athletes, the career is short and it’s physically hard. These people exist and are for all I can see, a true minority. But yeah, they do exist and they usually have a career plan, save money for their next business/house and disappear asap. They just try to make that dollar and if the situation was inverted, wouldn’t I be interested to do this, save money and invest into things I’d like to do? I would run some numbers and think about it, I have projects and times are rough. I don’t judge. But I damn sure know that that would screw my mind up and be a huge trade, a big mental risk.
We shouldn’t be proud of a society that values putting ourselves to the very end of the edge to exist. The US are building and sending drones everywhere for security reasons blabla, it’s still wrong and always will be. It’s wrong to facilitate war for security reasons, as it’s dumb to say prostitution is OK because an extremely small minority make this choice and lives it all right, all their lives while we forget about the pandemic problem. Society decided that wealth, bank account health is all you are and it serves men in more ways than one. What about our human health? Maybe legalization would make it better but I’m not so sure legalizing goods like drugs is one thing, legalizing services and human trade is definitely something else.
The only way I can think of being OK with paid sex is through one of these couples running websites and fucking in front of cameras. There is certainly no coercion, not from life or from a pimp, and people genuinely love and craft these videos. You can only be a bit jealous but as soon as more people will run that kind of business, people will not be able to live from that. Back to free sex.
At the very end, the problem lays in our sexual education, which is inexistent, laughable and/or terrible at best. The day our society output young adults who are not afraid of sex, know their bodies well and want to master them even more, the day we stop forcing this idea that we should aim for monogamy despite pretty much everything indicating that this doesn’t work at all, the day we don’t laugh at the dude who really comes hard with a female armpit in his face, then maybe people will be like “what is porn? What is prostitution? People paid for that? lol.”
Yeah I know. It’s far.