Category: Me Myself&I

Yo Dave,

I was watching your last standup special again after a few months and man, the “he rapes but he saves” thing I mean it’s smart and real but… Fuck no to the hell nah.

Nah because you know it: all women on earth, 100% of them, including the ones not born yet and the ones gone will experience that creepy ass motherfuckingly disgusting behavior that some of us men have and that we most of us (RIGHT?) condemn. So that makes us not really qualified to joke on this you know what I mean? And you do it well, I don’t think you could go through that joke on stage with lights on your face better than you did but…

I don’t know why I picture your wife going “nigga you’ll see” on you but I do. My girl on my couch, women in the audience, none are not like “wait, that’s not funny is it?” pondering, which is bad in itself. But also I giggle and I feel stupid and sad because I know that it’s because I’m not as concerned about rape as women are. Shit is wrong. Fuck rape, nothing to laugh at there when half the planet will have to deal with it in a way or another.

About Bill Cosby. Fuck him. He will stay in history just because he also did marvelous things, whatever. I’m like you a care bear-raised, Cosby-was-so-important-to-me type of dude. I want him to be gone from the realm of heroes though because we have to have standards as much as possible and we can’t be sad about a grown ass, smart dude doing that fucked up shit. Fuck that.

I thought we would find the weirdest shit about Prince like some appalling fetish or something. Dude wore heels but he was a simple romantic and kind of a nerdy lover for what I read. He probably stole credits for some songs here and there like his guitar licks straight outta Carlos Santana’s playbook, but that’s it. That’s all the wrong he did. We should celebrate him as a hero of ours more. Make jokes about him and his absurd life, celebrate how much life he gave to the entire human sexual spectrum, all that shit. Maybe that’s bad material I’m just bitching on a blog.

Anyway I love you bruh and I hope you leave that rape/save/cosby combo that makes my head tilt 30° sideways in the past. Peace,

Edward Crawford.

Deandre Joshua.

Darren Seals.

Jordan Edwards.

Richard Collins III.

Timothy Caughman.

I will not forget about you. I wish I could hold you tight and know for sure that you are here. Alive. Breathing.

The pain, the anger, the exhaustion.

Damn. With a healthy squad, they could be up 2-1 against the Warriors. And if KD hadn’t joined Golden State, they definitely could be up 3-0. I don’t know if Pop is planning on winning 4 games straight but I guess that’s a big stretch here.

I still don’t get how people talk about prime time being late 20s. No, prime time is when you know what to do and have the physical abilities –still- to make it happen. Manu Ginobili, 39, schooling these bums. Lebron James is considered old at 32 but he can now land those chase-down blocks at will when he never could before.

Experience matters a whole lot, y’all. You ain’t shit in your 20s, you’re still learning then.

I hate that people talk about J Simmons getting paid, the fuck? He’s making 500K a year –that’s enough to raise four kids comfortably-, has the best coach in the league if not of all time, plays for a team that makes the playoffs every year, fits in a great roster with depth. He could just stay like that for years and be happy and get better on the court. Why the fuck would you want him to get millions somewhere else? He has everything already! He looks like a humble guy. Leave him alone.

There’s this philosophical discussion about whether monopolies and oligopolies are good or not.

Netflix. The Cavs. Time Warner. Verizon. It’s a bit everywhere.

Monopolies and oligopolies are not good if they last. Because they destroy competition and any incentive to get better. They just get fat, impotent and indulgent. We all lose.

They make things better by setting up expectations and standards though. No Microsoft hegemony, no Universal Serial Bus. Netflix forced competition to hurry the fuck up and get aggressive on content, price etc.

That’s good. But the world we live in these days is so brutal that… It goes too far? I think about Netflix. They are ultra aggressive, producing tons of content, a lot being good. They are flooding our senses, force-feeding us with binges we can’t escape. To the point that even if the last OITNB season leaks no one cares because waiting a few months for it while finishing some season of something is totally fine. There’s far too much going on. We saturate.

Take those superteams in the NBA, a handful of them destroying everyone else. it’s kind of fun, and it’s kind of the worst shit ever. The other day the game was over at the end of the first quarter. Eastern finals completely useless, we already know who will win. Those blowout games probably bring a lot of people to watch games live. Maybe? Maybe not. People love drama, hail to the King. But it’s probably bad in the long term (why watch the regular season or playoffs games if it’s always the same teams at the end?). We’re bored.

The focus is not on doing good or great anymore, to sustain something. It’s to intensely retain, funnel people into extreme behavior, burn us out. It’s weird.

Reading about the latest gadgets:

Google Home will also provide proactive notifications in the near future. Initially, the Assistant will focus on travel, keeping track of upcoming flights and appointments and then alerting you to flight delays or traffic alerts. For the latter, it will even calculate a new travel time and suggest leaving earlier so you’re not late to your next appointment. Another new feature, this one rolling out today, is the ability to use Assistant on Google Home to create reminders and calendar appointments, which will then appear on your other Android devices.

Who has a life so busy that they can’t create with their own hands, in a matter of a few dozens seconds, a reminder and calendar appointment? People who are that busy have an assistant in each room they go to.

Why do you need those notifications to appear on other devices when you have your phone with you 24/7? Why clutter my brain with something I already know?

Do you know that most people don’t fly? 7 billion people on earth, 8 million flying every year. That’s 0.1% of the world population that Google aims at. Traffic? Unless you live in a new town all the time, you know the drill and how to navigate through traffic thanks to that thing called experience.

The new wave of technology doesn’t solve much, is invasive, expects us to be brainless drones.

Man, fuck Zaza and the odds. I hope the Spurs go ahead and realize that the Warriors are just like them, a basketball team and that they can beat them as they did very well in the first half of game 1. Patti went cold, KD was free and San Antonio lost by one bucket. I think they can reverse that. For Tony and Kawhi y’all.

What up East? Well, the Celtics came through with my dude IT dropping 29 pts in game 7. Jesus Christ this man gives me life. It’s unbelievable. They have to double team or triple team a 1.75m point guard. If they don’t, he can score 52 pts like the other night. And the dude is in pain, lost teeth in game 1, lost his sister in a car accident… IT’s a legend now about to go at it against Lebron, another legend.

People don’t update machines because updates break what they were doing with those machines. It always happens: you think you’re smart and pro active updating some stuff, thinking it won’t change anything. And then you can’t work. Something isn’t right. Security patches deleted some cached stuff, set a variable to 0 instead of 1 and now the software you were using refuses to work or is unstable for some obscure, complex and code-based reasons.

A lot of places like hospitals don’t have the margin for that kind of bullshit, thus they don’t update. If things work, don’t fucking update, don’t change nothing. That’s not negligence, that’s common sense at this point.

The biggest thing in this ransom story is that yes, computers as they were running in 2000 are enough and do a great job almost twenty years later. No, we do not need the last version of Windows, the very last hardware. It’s not fucking fashion, these are computers. They’re used to do some stuff and that’s it.

Maybe we should leave a lot of (most) computers offline, like we used to.

Well those playoffs are going about how they were supposed to go.

My Spurs are doing as predicted. Tony was going hard, too hard and injured himself. The bench depth and veterans’ knowledge are giving them an edge over the Rockets, the best offense in the league. Playoffs Spurs give us amazing, entertaining games, a lot more interesting than those sweeps by the Cavs and Warriors.

Cavs would probably sweep the Wizs. Boston has a chance to get a game or two I think. They’re tough. Warriors would probably sweep the Rockets. San Antonio has a chance to get more. It seems impossible that they beat the Warriors in the WCF but sometimes things happen. Kawhi can shut KD down, Simmons can confine Klay and Patty will have to work his ass off to stop Steph. It’s doable. For Tony y’all.

Back in the day we used to read that sentence everywhere: IBM PC and compatible. It just meant that that machine was able to run the same software and support the same expansion cards. And for a time, it was good.

Now. Microsoft announces that new processors will not be supported on W7 or W8. W10S will use a store only, like iOS and Android/Chrome. Octane render only works on CUDA, a Nvidia proprietary standard while OpenCL which does wonder on AMD cards is not supported. Performances between software applications on the latest hardware vary greatly when it used to be a lot more homogenous.

We’re losing something here.

I know why: it’s a mix of simplifying/securing things for users while companies get more control on top of an absurdly more complex than ever computer world.

The move to students and schools is just a way to secure a future world where those people, that generation doesn’t even know that we used to basically run anything, on anything. That’s how geeks became geeks. You know, making Doom run on HVAC computer of whatever. Demoscene. Emulators. Game development.

We’re creating extremely docile consumers. Facebook does the same thing to almost 2 billion people now who are incapable to search for information now, outside the first result their phones give them.

At this rate by 2020 we will live in complete silos, never questioning anything. Engineers, I urge you to reverse some of that shit back. I know, they pay you guys very well to create that world but please resist more.