Category: Me Myself&I

Listening, thinking. Riding.

Amazing ride to the Watts towers last weekend, thanks to the no less amazing Will. From Jelly Roll Morton, to the first black person to be honored with the Nobel Peace Prize, to the Black Panther, to Sanford & son to the ‘65 Watts riots to Eula Love (Stop N° 7) to Rodney King twenty years ago already, the history of L.A. is built on race conflict, mostly white and black people.

South L.A. For the first time, I saw black people in Los Angeles. Not just here and there, entire neighborhoods. People nod, smile, wave at us. Everywhere. Some neighborhoods supposedly “bad” aren’t bad at all. They might have been. Segregation is so strong. I felt bad sometimes, like I’m in some sort of safari with 25 white people despite the fact that I wanted to hang out for a while with every black person seen there. Always confronted to the same thing: I’m in the middle, on the edge crushed and quartered by how society works today.

Deep and profound experience. I was more tired from emotions than from riding 50 km.

But it was good.

They’re all so awesome 

Enjoying the sun in L.A. and reading a lot of black stuff, apparently. I could write so much. I’ll need to write a book someday. Or you might just read this blog until I’m 100 year old. I’m trying to do this.

<3

I’m not going to talk about SOPA ACTA and all (of course, please act against them). I’m just going to say that I read in the book “The Sounds Of Star Wars” that Ben Burtt, sorry Ben “I invented the light saber sound and so many others stuff you heard to death” Burtt was pirating drive-in movies by connecting “wires into the speaker that you get in your car and make direct recordings”. He was a teenager and today, he would definitely use The Pirate Bay too.

At that time, nobody gave a shit about a dude copying movies “illegally”. Today you can be extradited to the United States for running a website posting links to pirated TV shows and films, despite significant doubts over whether such sites break any UK laws.

At that time we let an individual grow his passion and become a founder of modern sound design. Today, we fuck an individual over as hard and as fast as we can, with no Justice at all.

All I’ll say is this:

:3

 
Red robe and big package. You should be afraid, computer.

My first tower back in ‘91. You can see that I was pretty happy. I think I already had the parts so I could start building it. I still had hair but the thing is, I look at kids today and I understand why they don’t have a brain in ebullition: they click, double tap, buy, consume and don’t know shit. Knowledge is everywhere and useless at the same time for them. Everything is as easy as pressing a thumb on glass. You get everything you want like that. But life doesn’t always work this way.

At first I was looking at circuit boards as if they were little boring cities, while my dad would use his legendary screwdriver skills and built PCs. Going from cold printed circuit boards in boxes to weird CGA games I would try on screen, from hardware to software was fantastic. And made me understand three gazillion things. Or not. Anyway, it was magic.

It gave me a sense of patience and thoroughness of action. Understanding problems. Solving issues before they show up was part of the game -IRQ available? what about DMA channel-, thinking ahead was part of the fun “I’m outsmarting this bitch!” and checking things ala airplane -three times- was the routine. Now kids whine and give up because Facebook doesn’t load and they have such a lack of knowledge and patience… I wouldn’t like to be their future offspring.

Today if you want to hook up a kid on computers, don’t buy a tablet. Don’t listen to your kid (I wanted a console like all my friends on that picture, but a computer was great too I guessed). Build a PC with him/her and trust me, he/she’s going to love it, firing up a great game a few hours after opening boxes. He/she will love it when you finish your first Arduino project. He/she might even want to learn more. Maybe program stuff. Maybe manage the house network. Maybe run a small cluster of graphic cards to calculate stuff for the cloud. Possibilities are endless, why stop at Angry Birds and Instagram?

Your kid will not be an annoying brat who can’t sit still unless he’s in front of mind-crushing YouTube videos of stupid cats and that will be a good thing for him, his environment and the future of creativity.

Bam.

Dave Winer talks about it for the web, and I think the same is happening on the hardware side.

When I came back in September in Paris, I powered back on my network drive and nothing happened. Not a single light, no spinnin’. I thought “oh yeah, those shitty power supply, I guess I’ll have to change it”. Changed it, nothing. At that point I had two options:

– send the network drive to LaCie to fix it.

– open the damn enclosure to see if the standard hard-drive inside is working or if the enclosure died.

I knew about the second option because I’m used to computer technology but searching the web 20 minutes gives you the answer too. FYI.

The -terrible- support tells me that I have to send my network drive back and that they will fix it. However, all my data will be erased. Because they simply format the disc and change the enclosure. They don’t even bother.

Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. No.

I guess I will not hear your dead ass anymore, blue HAL.

I opened the enclosure with my legendary screwdriver skills (four or five screws to unscrew, insane), put the hard-drive in a 20 bucks SATA enclosure which is as hard as putting two bricks of Lego together. It’s so hard and complex to do that an 8 year old could do it.  I switched on the all thing, the hard-drive is fine. The network enclosure somehow had died.

I wasn’t that pissed because I wasn’t going to loose anything really important or a massive amount of data (maybe 100 Gb with 40% already backed up). I was pissed that the “service” from the company was to erase my data and not give a shit about me. Guys, we don’t buy storage to have storage, we buy storage to put stuff in it. So you need to care about it too.

Of course, opening the enclosure voided the guaranty but I had all my data back and that’s what I wanted.

I hate this trend where “they take care of you” which means that you just get so stupidly scared that you don’t even do something as simple as opening with a screwdriver a fucking box. Don’t you ever tell me you are a geek or a nerd if the only thing you do in front of defective computer stuff is to go whine to a store with your “broken” device.

It makes people believe that computers are stuff made of Angel’s sweat and powered by God’s blood. So here’s the truth: COMPUTERS ARE DUMB MACHINES WITH SCREWS AND ARE VERY STURDY AS LONG AS YOU DON’T IMMERGE THEM IN THE WATER OR JUMP ON THEM.

It’s so easy today. It’s never been that easy to change parts on computers, thanks to solid standards like USB or SATA and something that we don’t talk about: the incredible Taiwan’s engineer’s work of unification, security and simplification of motherboards, chipsets etc. Mad props to these men and women. So much has been done for us.

20 years ago you had to read a shitty English translation of instructions to move a damn jumper on a motherboard from J1 to J3 to just be able to use a hard-drive on another machine. And maybe it wasn’t J1 because the 1 was actually a badly written 2.

It is so easy now and yet, all-in-one computers are spreading, where if a single thing goes wrong or that you simply want to update a part, you have to go to the middleman and get on your knees. “Oh lord, please save him!!!! PLEASE”. Well, no.

People often compare that with cars and garages. You never fix your car yourself today, you go to a garage. It’s not even an option these days. But what people miss is that a car is not a computer. It’s big, dirty, inconvenient to operate, you need special tools. Here, I’m talking about a simple box with four effing screws. Opening it and taking care of it saved my data, which was the goal. No car has your photos or anything personal. If your library in the living room needed some fixing you wouldn’t ship the all thing. You would fix it or put your books on the side and buy new furniture if the wood is that rotten.

It’s not about saving money -I had to buy another network drive at the end- it’s about freedom and trusting yourself. Doing it instead of waiting for it, avoiding responsibilities and complaining about support.

In the computer and hardware world, we’re giving up on being adults at an alarming rate.

Hey,

I couldn’t write about it last year, when you passed away. I guess I think about you everyday but I don’t even try to count, you are just around in my head, somehow.

I wanted to tell you thank you, my first dad. My first male figure. And I can’t really think about a better one.

You came to Paris to get me. I was assigned to your foster home. A nice, calm baby. I imagine that after raising five white children having a brown one with nappy hair was exciting and cute.

You took me back to your place, in the sweet French countryside. You took care of me like I belonged, as your children and grandchildren. I’m the dash between them.

2 years! 

I remember the sound of your electric razor in the morning, your brown tobacco smell when you licked my face to gross me out and make me giggle, sitting on your lap, I remember playing with my little cars following the rug lines while you were watching Formula One. I remember watching the liquid running through the little rocks and the salads you were watering. I remember following you often, going to your perfectly organized workshop where you would drink "un p’ti ballon d’rouge/d’blanc" with your friends or family or fix some stuff while whistling brilliantly. I remember you teaching me how to ride a bike, challenging me to get rid of the training wheels, and boom! I totally succeeded. I was so in love with you.

Once I did a very bad thing, I threw a metal can in the face of a younger girl. You caught me doing it and before I could enjoy the neatness of my long distance headshot, you were grabbing me and making my bottom taste the leather of your belt. I went to bed, woke up for a cookie, and that was it. You never hurt me before and after that. It was like, perfect, unaltered Justice: you don’t do shit to people you wouldn’t like them to do to you or else, you’ll pay for it. The harder you do, the harder you pay. I pretty much never employed force or physical advantage unless it’s allowed, to win an argument ever again.

You were mad when I had to leave for my now 26 year old family. I didn’t see it but she told me that you wanted to commit suicide, you were probably drunk that time. Thanks to my parents not listening to what the state was saying, I was coming over often. It felt good, the city is so full of shit sometimes it was great to be with you, fucking around and simply enjoying a simple life.

When I have been able to come over on my own, you were the one following me everywhere. Retirement is a bitch. But it was great to see you, chatting about "l’autre enculé de Hongrois", our current president. That time I had the Jaguar and we rode around? You wanted to ride again and again and I would drive you as long as you want now.

Then you got sick. I immediately knew that it would kill you. Your family is a cancer fest and you drank and smoked for decades. I probably do a little of both because of you. I learned to not give a fuck with you, too. I also learn to care and do things, and work hard. My now dad added a layer of the same thing in a different flavor so I guess it’s printed and hard-wired in me.

Cancer took two years to get you. It was hard for everybody but you know my grandfather, Raymond is a vegetable now and it’s just excruciating. I think that it was better this way, though a few more years would have been great. I just wish you didn’t have to suffer so much.

The world is sad. People say that we can all live together despite our differences and we both know that. You did it. We so did it. I was your "petit dernier" and you were asking what I was doing and you were so impressed by this music and computer game thingy. I would ask about how you would fix this thing in the wall and would be as impressed and everything would be all right. People talk. We did. And if today I have identity issues, it’s not our fault. It’s just that the world is too damn slow and dumb and forces me to dream about joining my black and brown people so I can stop feeling awkward. The city is making all of us crazy.

I was with her this week so that she wouldn’t be alone on the first anniversary of her husband’s death and I wanted to have her in my arm all the time but you know how she is, stronger and harder than a rock. She’s doing OK, your dog helps a lot. I wanted to have her in my arm all the time also to say thank you for all she did for me. I wanted to have her in my arm all the time to thank you, as I would have loved to at least once in my life kiss you and say that I love you.

Summer 2009.

I don’t know why but this song really makes me think about the picture below. Sun and fun memories with you. I love you man, thank you again and forever.

 
End 80s.

Paris. Rain. F U.

It’s been a tough and rough year, that’s for sure. Death and pain, pain and death. Surviving between all that and trying to push things forward. Not easy but well, we’re all going to die next year, aren’t we?

Plan for next year: commit to my prototype, expand Chocobeam and stick to the lean, I’m going to need it. /stretches out

Happy New Year 2012, y’all.

December is the month where I usually backup things. I realized that I’ve never lost anything in ten years of heavy computer use. Maybe a couple of hundreds of meg, I’m not even sure. I have things burned on CDs at least five times. I have pretty much my entire email history since the beginning. Same with IM logs (I was saving them because of links in conversations). Every single soundtrack I wrote with .wav and .mp3 included. The thing is I’m never really paying attention to anything, I don’t have any automatic backup, nothing. I’m just really organized and need to drop a couple of folders a year on the burner to save everything. NAS, USB keys are used as quick and dirty backup. I memorize. I work out that bunch of cells. No apps. No reminder.

I am prototyping, finally, my game on Unity. Thanks to code samples, I have a working, first experience. Brings a huge smile. After spending a year defining technical needs and possibilities, Unity seems to be the best choice and provides everything I need. The community is vibrant and the tools are pretty great. I’m excited and stressed out as I soon will be able to see if at the end, it works or not. But I’m pretty confident it will work, as my extended search on my game’s subject is telling me that I’m on something. It’s going to be all about tweaking.

So I was like “end of the year sucks so much to me, why?” and then I looked up on the internet to see how adult adoptees are living this period of the year. We all have a hard time and reading stories, I’m doing fine geez. People are fighting so much, adoption, birth mother or parents, resentment, anger, consent, family reunion it’s scary. My parents and foster parents really did a perfect job when I read some stories. Adopted people feel so guilty to not be like “everybody”. That, I feel it. But I say fuck to that too because I well know how “everybody” is bullshit. I also learned how much my case is a very special case. So unique, it hurts!

Music definitely saves my mind and my soul.

They are needed but they alienate people. They work as long as they are not used as “I’m buying this brand because I want this brand”. But we measure the success through this unit, “as much of a religion a brand can be”. If you are venerate as much as a 2,000 year old sect, you are a winner.

I always thought brands would kind of disappear, actually. Good, generic products were supposed to take over as they bring more collectively than a brand can. A brand maximizes your spending, a generic, standard product does the opposite. They really change the world. Generic drugs, generic hardware… Good enough, widely available, not expensive. Real progress, y’all.

I’m really interested into brands at an individual level or small scale. The Japan game industry, with very strong personalities and names, the skateboard scene and the amazing talent of riders to create small or not that small, powerful brands out of thin air. I like that because somehow I can trust them more, there’s something very direct and very basic: I want a good product/service and the brand works on it. Steam just went so huge by doing that, focusing on providing games and trying stuff like sales. The day they start to be dishonest over their mission is the day they will find competition.

I guess it’s always about being honest. Problem is, tons of brands are not.

Or how an ongoing change of consuming the web forces Google to speed up their will to expand

So yeah, Google Reader sucks. They changed things and killed the sharing feature and they want to feed us with G+ until we can’t go back.

Fuck that. I’m trying other ways to read news without big G on my ass.

I have a much better understanding of why RSS readers are using Google services to synchronize news between devices: it’s really complicated to do that without the Mountain View giant:

It seems like all you have to do is make each copy of your RSS reader read and write three files to Dropbox, one file for each item in the list above.

It seems like each reader could just read the files at startup and write out new files when it quits. Problem solved!

But not even close.

It really is complicated. The solution for Dave Winer is to use web apps, like Tiny Tiny RSS (make the install WordPress like, geez). My problem as a user and designer is that web apps suck balls. Sorry, I’m using RSS since 2004 and I had a native client that was noticeably faster and which wouldn’t make my computer crawl and start up the fan like Google Reader does, even more with the last version.

Today I have 4 times the amount of RAM, 2X the amount of processing power at 2X the speed I had with my old Pentium M and Google Reader lags. Come. On. On the other side native apps, fly. Fluid, beautiful, elegant or intuitive, they always feel clearly superior, even when waiting for cloud data. The fact that web apps get better and better doesn’t matter. So native apps. The gap will stay, as long as we don’t have a badass Wifi signal everywhere and performances matching the best native apps and it’s kind of an impossible task: Google tries really hard to push its web vision, without big success (iPhone Gmail “app”, the Chrome OS  mess, redesign of web services to match native apps’ look&feel, Android’s UI lag, Chrome Native Client so what there’s Steam etc.)

That’s the first nightmare for Google. The browser taking over’s prophecy falls short. The native apps + cloud paradigm is putting them in a really awkward position.

The second nightmare that nobody talks about is this one: if everybody starts to use RSS, feeds, streams, what about the page view business model? Nobody would see ads, or so much less that the entire business model of selling ad space would stop to make sense. I’m guessing that there is much less information to get from a RSS user than a classic web browser user. The maker of the popular Feeddemon app says that you don’t know anything about the user, except that he subscribed to your content. Oops.

That would be a disaster for Google. Which is to me the reason why they jumped on Feedburner before it became huge and pretty much killed it (the API future is uncertain according to Wikipedia). This is why the Google Reader API, despite being used by hundreds of apps is not even freaking official. And it’s a nightmare to use for developers (no documentation FTW). They don’t want to encourage people to use this efficient way of consuming the web because it would hurt them so hard.

Unfortunately, the river of news is everywhere on Facebook or Twitter. Everybody is ready to make the jump to RSS now, people would immediately get it, the concept is totally mainstream and FB knows that very well. RSS still lacks usability like not having a one-click subscription system or syncable apps but it’s on, it’s going to change. A better name would be cool too. Programmers never give a shit about marketing.

So what would push people to embrace RSS instead of streams in silos like FB? Privacy. Privacy is the very strong argument that will push people to follow anything they want on the web through RSS or future standard instead of G+ or FB or Twitter without having to think about a company making money out of this information or inserting ads all over. There will be a backlash and a generation growing up without being on any of these services. There will be a generation that will be unknown from any of today’s internet social networks or search engines.  

These days the cool thing is “let’s go on G+ because FB the mega corporation, has too much information about me fuck yeah I’m so smart”. Why would you trust more Google, for what reason, as they have the same exact business model as Facebook? It doesn’t make sense. Plus G+ has a history of not giving a damn about you, banning users, removing pictures without a single notice, and they get away with it. Which is insane to me.

It’s one of the big problem with open technologies and standards: they are not brands, they can’t be branded and we live in a world where brands sadly, are everything. People worship these bitches.

On the positive side, there’s a massive business opportunity around perfectly executed private “river of streams” apps for desktop and mobile… Just saying.