4 tech things I so want right NOW

-Eeebook

2009 is under the sign of NDP (No Damn Papers) and having some magazines to read this past weekend, I thought about it:

Reading on the iPhone is not awesome. Pinching my fucking way in and out and watching squares slowly become my actual reading is death for me, sorry.

Reading on a Kindle is much better, E-ink is great but wtf is this tiny little screen??

Reading on a netbook and you have the same problems of the above except you can at least read absolutely everything.

I know what I miss so much: When I read a paper magazine, a manga, a book, I’m used to the fact that I can have a glimpse of what’s going on after what I am about to read. When a desktop computer it doesn’t bother be at all, mouse scroll. On a mobile platform? It’s definetely a pain in the ass and way less joyful than plain old paper. I want my little freedom-reward loop back.

Then I saw PageGangster (TransWorld magazine demo). I love it. I totally want that kind of stuff on an EEE without keyboard, fanless, (ditch audio features a book is a book ffs) with a double touch screen a bit like this:

The eee 900 is 900gr. A good book with a hard cover is easily at 700gr or more.

Imagine that + the software part like PageGangster + E-ink and Kindle battery life… Epic win. I want a device like this so now. It’s technically doable, stop doing shit with netbooks and gimme that. kthksbye.

-Automatic self cleaning siphon toilets

I appreciate those little red squares. So wow. Oh wait. 

Maybe it’s just a euro thing or a french problem but no matter what, after some time toilets are dirty everywhere I look. I don’t talk about men not sitting on the damn throne to pee or people taking a dump up to the flushing system, but I’m talking about the shit populating the depth of the little circle lake. I mean I saw a few totally new and unused toilets getting brown in a matter of weeks, even when the dirt was clean out on a regular basis, even when using some shit stick-toilet broom every time. Even with GIRLS it gets messy (well after a bit of search, I didn’t know that balance was so widely shared in nature).

Anyway, this is a problem.

Of course you can use chemicals to do the job, it will even do the job of dissolving your toilet too and then you are forced to get a new shit hole, making yourself uncomfortable while taking apart the old smelling bowl.

Well I saw that, but it focuses on another problem (watch the video I mean, you need to do so). When it’s gonna be possible in this world to have something to actually hide that part of the toilet? I don’t know, make a door, a portal, a fucking dungeon, an optical illusion why not, something to let my water be clear and prevent those crappy soldiers to  happily hang out and stick at the start of the siphon.

Cleaning this mess with my hands a sponge and some acid is not cool. I know it’s a job a lot of housewifes and maids do but honestly, this problem should be scientifically fixed, not part of domestic work. Which shouldn’t exist at all by now. Technically. So engineers of the housekeeper field all over the world, please change our lifes.

-Water-resistant laptops so you can clean your filthy keyboard in a matter of seconds

 
SpongeBob colors but is it basic sponge proof?

Keyboards. We’re using them all the time, they quickly get as dirty as a teenage mind. And I know you’re using your netbook/smartphone while pooping too. I’m tired to have to clean them with special stuffs or use them with special care, washing my hands when I cook to answer im etc. I want to be able to clean them as I do with a furniture: Quickly and efficiently. Not with a Swiffer, key by key every six months. So please, if we don’t want diseases to spread by this stupid thing that is a finger going through a piece of paper while wiping your own ass after eating some contaminated pork, please PCs and especially laptops manufacturers, do something: protect keyboards by default.

-A Windows rss reader that ain’t half-baked or a total piece of shit

 
Sign O The Times

I know a lot of people use Twitter as an info stream like rss never existed but man, there’s everything from bad to awesome on any software on Windows. Why the hell is there not a single great rss reader app available? They all have flaws on either ergonomics or features or stability/performance or they are simply not enjoyable to use (FeedDemon). It’s painful to watch.

I tested almost every single rss reader of this page on Windows and they all blow while my rss feeds increased to  100+. I still use Greatnews for its outstanding superfast database. Really lacking features and UI refactoring but at least, it works fine.

Take Feedreader for example. Really nice UI but the (rss) sucker doesn’t allow to automatically mark feeds as read when switching to a new stream. I mean every fucking others rss readers do it it’s not even a feature! It’s like no back button on a browser. And it has serious memory problems but the developer doesn’t want to recognize it so.

Never saw such a big deal to find a good app, ever. I’m even testing Ubuntu/Liferea just to get something good on the rss front. But the war on Windows isn’t lost.

I talked to a .NET 3.0 developer thirteen23, and they may jump into this untapped app market. Their Twitter client is neat and sexy so I bet on them. Here’s my priority features list:

• Super great database SQLLite performance like in Greatnews (unbeatable, 130 feeds no cpu or ram issues I can even flawlessly edit feeds while updating all of them even on my netbook; just perfect).
• Super simple UI ala Feedreader, super simple features (one click starred stuff, no fucking dotted trees, favicons all the way).
• FTP or/and Googlereader auto-sync. I’d go for FTP to be able to use a real desktop client and not give all up to the "don’t be evil" company. But can be useful when using public computers.
• Searchable rss in Vista/7 search or maybe it’s better performance-wise to only have search in the client? If so make it fast and reliable.
• Webkit or Gecko rendering engine. Readers using IE engine can make others browser like Maxthon behave weird. Plus blablabla ok you know.
• Of course, a good rss rendering with embedded videos etc

Back in 2003-04 rss was a tremendous change of how to handle and manage multiple streams of information, so much faster than the old bookmark/hand refresh style, at least for me. And yet there’s still no DEF rss client on Win
dows. In 2009.

I want those things sooo bad.