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Me Myself&I

A part of my soul just died

There are no words. I’m trying right now, to find them.

A couple of weeks that I was looking at the case. A couple of years that I heard about it. I can’t structure my thoughts.

I just think about the incredible waste of a human life living in death row for so long, for nothing.

I think about this: the following year, the federal funding of the Georgia Resource Center, which helped represent Davis, was cut by 70%, leading to the departures of most of the center’s lawyers and investigators. How Democrats and Clinton killed Troy’s hopes in 1995.

I think about the West Memphis Three who got the chance to have some evidence found 15 years later, reached a deal with the prosecutor who still thinks that they are guilty. I guess having three movies about the case, Metallica, Henry Rollins selling stuff for you helps much more than fucking prayers.

I think about Casey Anthony. Her story, her fucking pictures and how everybody was like “it has nothing to do with race that she gets away with it, it’s just reasonable doubts”. Fuck you. When she was in prison charged for giving false statements to law enforcement, child neglect, and obstruction of a criminal investigation, someone paid $500,200 to get her out of jail. Half a million dollars. After a few years of the case, she’s out. She is not even in prison. She is out. 400 pieces of evidence were presented.

I think about Duan Buck who killed his former girlfriend and a man, has been sentenced to death and has been “lucky” that a psychologist testified that Buck’s being black could contribute to his "future dangerousness". That was a little too much.

I think about the pretty famous or not that famous white powerful rapists out there, who can enjoy their lives.

I think about Anthony Walker, young black man randomly ran after and killed in the UK with an axe in his skull. In 2005. The two white dudes who did this are scheduled to be out of prison in 2028 and 2023. Alive.

I think about the absolute disaster that is black America. Retarded fat ass BET church whores. Fuck you rappers, fuck your fucking faith, your gold and your prayers. There is no God, you dumb fucks. Troy is gone. 

If Katrina’s entire story and Troy Davis case still make you believe in this shit, just kill yourself because you are part of the problem.

I think about the tech world, where all the future jobs are, where I’ve always been, where it’s pretty much completely devoid of black people.

I think about France where a group of black people is thrown out of a manifestation celebrating the end of slavery, for no reason. In 2011.

I think about my family. My freaking huge, 100% white family, who can’t really grasp what I feel, even when they try hard. They just can’t.

I think about this old white man who was buried with pictures of me earlier this year, who loved me and whom I loved very much too.

 

It’s like I know it’s possible. I know it, I live it. It’s exceptional, but it’s real.

It’s just that the entire world keeps telling me no, that is impossible. That reasonable doubts, 22 years of jail and massive support all over the world are not going to change shit for a black man’s life. That the system is in every way, hostile to me. That I am an anomaly.

I’m just terribly angry. Fuck you people. Fuck you.

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