Fuck the term rape culture like it’s cute and legit what the fuck?
I guess the thing I do about it since I’ve been aware of it for a long time, is to not hang out with dudes only. Because we’re just having fun and talking shit but then we become wolves. Predatory. Dumb.
All men know exactly when things turn wrong in those moments, when respect for women somehow completely disappears. When we turn our brains off and start being dumb beyond reason.
I prefer to be face to face with a friend. At most, two dudes. Even at three including me, after two beers people start talking about hoes. When I’m just talking to one friend, we never go there and it’s the best example of “individuals are smart, people are idiots”. I always preferred to be with a heterogenic group of people, because it’s almost the only case where people are not idiots, where they actually try to be smarter you know? I appreciate that.
Anyway, the consequences are that it can be lonely to avoid groups. But I know we need to drastically change as a society about rape and if I need to stay away from socialization, bars and beers I’m fine with that. Shit. I have too many friends who got raped. France or California, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes I wonder if it’s not half of the women in my life which is fu-cking crazy. It keeps happening. I still see the same excuses and I don’t say shit, I just try to not allow situations where it could happen. Definitely not smiling at your stupid rapey joke.
On the other side of the coin, it is super exhausting to spend time and energy to convince women I’m dating that I’m cool and that I won’t try to hurt/rape/kill them. It’s pretty much the #1 thing I have to do first before thinking about anything else. Of course sometimes I fuck it up, overthinking my moves and then they freak out and it makes me sad because I won’t see them ever again, probably. I understand the situation though.
I wish there was a won’t-do-shit-to-you-unless-you-ask list and that I was on it and that all women were getting the notification. You know, so that we all enjoy our lives faster, them without fearing to end up dead in a ditch because you said no and me knowing that I don’t have to set up all those “cool as fuck, I swear” signs around the diner table.
The truth also, is that most women and men get raped by family and friends. Rape survivors had a whitelist and they got raped anyway, so it’s awful.
Still. Please gentlemen, stop doing this shit. Not even the start of the slippery slope. You’re hurting everyone.
If you get killed or hurt hard in the future because you tried to sexually abuse someone, it will be completely fair.
And you survivors are some badass motherfuckers.