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Me Myself&I

You Can’t Simply Decide to Be a Different Person

Uh, yes you can. It might take a minute, and demand some isolation though.

(note how the title of the article, “You Can’t Simply Decide to Be a Different Person” super clickbaity, but the url (self-control-habit-new-years-resolutions) is dry as hell while the recent url blurb is somewhat the most accurate description “One Thing People Misunderstand About Forming New Habits – The Atlantic”)

“The key distinction here, Inzlicht told me, is that a person who appears highly self-controlled to others—who is displaying a high level of trait self-control—probably isn’t exercising their behavioral self-control as much as you do. “People who have high trait self-control, they don’t actually engage in more restraint of their behavior and thoughts and emotions in the moment,” he said. Instead, they just aren’t tempted or distracted or diverted from their purpose as often or as effectively as the rest of us.”

Right. But! The they just aren’t tempted though uh excuse ME! I am tempted, every day, to not wake up to go out and run with a basketball in the sunrise. Like, the temptation is the hardest part by far. It sucks. Tug of war in my brain. But my will goes beyond my feelings. I tell myself “fuck yo feelings, get up, you know how it is” sometimes. Because I know the benefits of that workout are huge, in our covid time. Disappointing myself in this disappointing world? Nah. I have to show up for myself. Then it becomes a game and you try to do a combo. “Three straight days!”

"Fuuuck it’s cold why am I doing this” is a sentence that pops up in my mind every single time in winter but I know that within five minutes of workout, this amazing thing called human body will actually generate heat by itself and in five minutes, I won’t feel cold at all. I will feel good. Five more minutes and I will feel great. Twenty minutes later and I will feel fantastic, warm or hot, ready to take on ANYTHING.

But right now, I’m almost shivering walking to my car.

The key is to understand, acknowledge and truly embrace the benefits of forming (good) habits. And to stay locked in on them. To abandon yourself to them.

Next thing you know you have 10,000 hours of whatever habit you chose. And people will notice.

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