I have to reminisce:
- It’s a lot of love. I land, the sun is out, the security line is long but dad is patiently waiting while not understanding my stupid jokes.
- We drive home, it looks like they’re blocking more roads every time I’m back, which makes our airport exit more and more complex. We laugh.
- Mom has the goodies (baguette and croissants) and I go down on them like they’re WAP.
- I brought her a hoodie and she quickly washes it and puts it on the whole time I’m there.
- Time to go do some yard stuff at grandma’s old house. There’s bamboo and this bitch is growing like crazy. We spent 2 hours and a half cutting it. I’m light headed, pushing through. It’s been over 20 hours up.
- We go back home, my homeboy picks me up and we drive to the
restaurant, brasserie. Lots of smiles and laughs, we have a little smoke and I go to bed at 11pm after 33 hours straight without sleep. I’m feeling good and completely crazy. - During that dinner I realize that the daughter of the woman victim of that insane mass rape trial, was with me in junior high. Just behind me in the classroom. Her smile and laugh were potent. I joined feminist groups in the early 00s and it feels like we haven’t done enough. We never do. I can’t believe this trial jfc.
- I try to relax on Sunday. Emotions are high. Just enjoying my family’s presence, sharing my architecture stuff, them doing the same. They dig my project.
- Next day I’m on the road at 6am to go see my foster mom in her little village. I knock at her kitchen window again. She had hip surgery last year and she’s still living on her own, going up and down stairs albeit with some pain and added difficulty. We go to the restaurant with her daughter and granddaughter. We’re so happy to do this and be together. I’m drinking coffee every hour.
- It still hasn’t rained, basically a miracle.
- Next day I go to my local mall for some shopping. It’s unreal. The smells are the same. The aisle where beers and alcohol are, is still the same aisle as it was in the 1990s. The shops changed and many are closed, but many are still there. It’s just impossible to stop on one thing, I’m constantly oscillating between remembering, comparing and projecting. Smells, bro. Powerful.
- Quick look at our skate spot: looking at the barriers attempting to block the way and fresh wax, it’s still being skated. Marble never dies.
- In the afternoon we go see my mom’s horses. So wild to write this casually. Smells again! I hadn’t been close to a horse in decades probably. They’re so amazing. We don’t ride them, but we go for a hike in the forest. As we used to do every single Sunday with my grandparents. Fall being a great time to do it, looking at nature changing clothes.
- We drive back home and I’m freaking out at the amount of construction happening, again. What the fuck y’all doing.
- For once I lay down with pop, watching TV. It’s a show with mechanics working on cars and there’s a team with a white dude and a black dude and the black dude never says anything until he does and he’s immediately cut off by the white dude. That’s France alright.
- That humid cold is starting to eat at my bones. Memories. Last supper. It’s always too short and at the same time, it’s fine?
- We’re kind of really used to it now. Dad drives me back to the airport. His blue eyes are a bit sad, and we give each other’s a kiss on the cheek and mention to take care. I remove a leaf stuck on his car’s hood and he smiles from inside. Love you dad.
- I pass security and it starts raining hard. I do not care.
- Middle seat, drunk ass mfs around. Sigh.
- It’s always a bit of pain to wait for your suitcase after a long trip. Not this time! Both ways, my big red brick is waiting for me before I have to wait for it. Noice.
- LAX/Shuttle is a breeze, my driver is cool but we’re chatting too much and he’s always on the wrong lane, meaning that he has to drive a bit stupidly to readjust (yes, it’s a Tesla).
The sun is strong, it’s 30°C. As usual, it feels like I dreamed. And it’s a bit hard to deal with. Let’s abolish time zones real quick.