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Me Myself&I

It was a TRIP indeed

  • It was immediately clear that I was waiting for a flight going to France: I’m in line with no one close to me and this French dude shows up and stops right behind me, speakerphone blaring, not wearing a mask, speaking loudly. I move a few inches forward and this mf just moves accordingly, staying 10 inches from me. I leave and go to another line.
  • I hadn’t been on a flight for a minute so they almost called HelpDesk when I failed to scan my boarding pass for 30 seconds straight.
  • Aquaman in the plane was watery.
  • We hit 995 km/h at some point on that flight, which is quite fast.
  • Temperature/rain in Paris was about the same as in Los Angeles. Kind of odd.
  • I couldn’t wait to see my dad. Masks on. Pandemic still fucking human moments left and right.
  • We rode back home rather quietly. I couldn’t stop saying “wow” at all those changes and new buildings.
  • My hometown streets felt like bicycle lanes, it’s so cute.
  • My sister and my mom in my arms after the antigen test went “You Good”.
  • Mom was so happy. Nine motherfucking years. Afghans refugees can go to Europe on foot and get to see their relatives back home faster than that.
  • Realizing that many things here that I’ve known my whole life will end up being sold, demolished.
  • Realizing my parents mortality like I had never felt it before.
  • Realizing the same for my foster care mom, hitting 86 this year.
  • Fuck jetlag entirely because it’s really annoying.
  • I’m sleeping in my teenage bedroom. Outside of my frantic typing, it is dead quiet.
  • My beloved radiant heating floors. Goddamn.
  • Smells from my closet, my clothes, the family house, nature violently bringing memories.
  • Okay, now it really feels like it’s way colder here.
  • Wine and stinky cheese at every possible occasion which is twice a day at the very least.
  • My foster mom almost passed out when I showed up at 7 in the morning at her door.
  • We’ve been talking for hours. I mean, she is and I nod back.
  • Nothing has much changed in this little village. There’s something soothing about the consistency of that fact through decades.
  • Gossips and alcohol are ruining everything, families, situations, futures.
  • I haven’t seen the sun since leaving L.A.
  • The road back to the family home was basically a river that I was at 75 mph on, passing trucks every 5 mn. Definitely tiring.
  • I drive my dad’s Toyota RAV4 which feels like a Hummer on these tiny ass suburb streets.
  • Quiche aux lardons so good.
  • First normal night from 10pm to 7am, awake by street car so loud I thought there was a spaceship rapture-like event going on. It cleans the streets once a month?
  • Went to Vincennes to go to my favorite little hat shop to get a new one.
  • Traffic everywhere, so much construction I want to barf. It’s so dense it’s not possible to be denser. I can’t fucking stand it.
  • More homelessness than I have ever seen on the periph’.
  • Mom’s pot au feu soothes me a bit. Simple, tasty food FTW.
  • Going through my boxes smelling exactly like when I left my apartment, I have to suppress memories if I want to make progress. Nine fucking years.
  • I can wear everything I’ve been wearing since 1998.
  • Joy of finding old items from my beautiful cream Stratocaster to shirts I loved to death and cassettes. All coming with me.
  • The sun has been out for five minutes. Sort of.
  • This constant thinly veiled French racist attitude, lol. Well, I had forgotten about it.
  • Last supper is rabbit and a little parfait au chocolat.
  • Dad has become addicted to chocolate, he tries to sling some to me at every occasion.
  • I already have to get back to Cali. I barely sleep.
  • I give my parents a kiss on the cheek for breakfast, we’re happy and sad. My presents drying on the rack in the other room.
  • I say goodbye to mom and we head back to CDG with dad.
  • 7am, crazy traffic, pitch black sky.
  • We know CDG pretty well and still getting confused where to go.
  • Dad drops me off at the curb. I want this moment when we hug and hold each other’s face to last forever. I feel his nicely trimmed, white facial hair over my fingers and try to absorb this moment as much as I can.
  • He’s gone. I’m about to.
  • CDG. Such a mess it deserves its own post. Or not.
  • We take off, 45 seconds later I see the sun. I missed you, boi.
  • I sleep the entire flight minus the last hour.
  • We land. Los Angeles, its sun, its beautiful mountains covered in snow.
  • Everything’s a breeze at LAX. I’m quickly back to my car. Robert Glasper playing J-DILLA starts playing and I start crying uncontrollably. It’s all good.
  • The sensation that I just had a very vivid dream starts, but I know it was real.
  • Back to my routines. I’m up at 6am the next day and shooting my basketball at 7am, before work.
  • As always, I finish my session with a swish 3.

You know what love is? It’s effort. It’s focus. And I’m good at it.

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