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Me Myself&I

GDC 14

I still can’t believe how efficient game development made me. When I freelance for some other stuff, I’m blown away by the habits, the use of technology on top of older technology which makes everything go slower and so much more terrible things, still haunting me the next day.

Most people wouldn’t be able to ship a game, ever.

It’s weird how I want to be proud of those skills learned building games and at the same time when I see what gamedev peeps mostly look forward to –MGS5, better pixel art lightning whatevs, VR, nostalgia- I’m not going to brag about being part of that community, too manchild-ish.

And I love them, gamedev folks are hard-working, problem-solving angels. Culturally though, game development still smells like a sweaty man cave and it just stinks, son.

Fourteen years of that smell. It was kind of fun when I was 20, but now I feel like a weirdo who decided to grow up when everybody else is complacent about what game culture is today. Baby steps here and there, we’ll see how it goes.

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Me Myself&I

Foster Care and biological BS

Great article, Priceonomics..

Foster care, they say, is a temporary solution until the children’s biological parents can take care of them once again.

That is some horseshit. It’s so ridiculously out of this world to think that biological parents are the Holy Grail. They are not, so many kids growing up with their biological parents can tell you that sometimes, and more often than we’d love to they are the worst shit possible to your upbringing. So no, they are not/shouldn’t be a goal at all cost that’s disregarding Life.

Let’s be real.

Also because I have a couple of cases around me these days but seriously, what biological means when you learn that your dad isn’t your biological dad even though you thought he was all your life? That’s right: biological, DNA-bonded connection doesn’t mean anything and you people who haven’t been adopted and had nice childhoods, you agree on this while totally hoping it’s untrue. Others wish it wasn’t true.

Sorry, it is true.

By biological parents are the best, you mean stability. But stability is not a synonym of biological parents. Stability comes from people who care about you, the social system around you. You can be raised by a foster family, an adoptive family, wolves or even pigeons and be happy as long as you get a healthy, stable environment that provides what is needed. Nothing biological in this bitch.

This has led to the perception that foster families are in it for the money.

So? Firemen are getting paid to rescue people, how fucking gross. How could they do that? If you rescue people, how could you get money from that? Aren’t you supposed to live on God’s love? (I just puked in my mouth a little)

Sometimes America, you are pretty weird: everybody is trying to make it, that’s a constant for all of us. My foster mom that I went to visit last weekend, in part did this for money. She was a nanny, she enrolled as a foster mom to make more money, knowing that she was good at doing her job and I would give her a 5/5 for the care she provided. Even if she made a small profit on me –I’m pretty sure she hasn’t- I’m like, “good for you! Thanks for saving my ass too!”.

People have little brains with tiny ranges and small hearts.

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Me Myself&I

77

It was her birthday last weekend so I brought her that picture that she didn’t know of. It’s a cool one, August 15th 2009. It’s hot as hell and I’m about to leave for California a third time, this time for months man! I’m happy, they are too because he’s in cancer remission.

Maybe a black frame wasn’t the best idea when all of the others are gold but somehow, I like it. It makes it a little special, as our relationship is/was. It feels like I welded it and that now I can move on.

It breaks my heart to leave every time even though I need to be far to be myself. Her voice man. There’s no older human sound in my head and that kind of says it all. Happy 77, young lady.

Next time I see you might be the last time before a long time.

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Me Myself&I Music

Beat N33

I like to name them with a number. Instrumental here. Love,

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Me Myself&I

Orange Prison Break

Watched Orange Is The New Black season 1 again. Such a great show.

I’m sad that I find a bunch of female characters so exciting when female characters shouldn’t be a thing, right? Well I’m happy too though. It’s so refreshing after Breaking Bad, damn. The cast, the characters it’s just kind of perfect and rich as hell.

The prison theme, yep. Because we all are in one, aren’t we. My prison? I don’t know. Not living with any black person ever for 34 years as a black dude? That’s kind of a prison. A tough one. That’s like my SHU.


Oh I feel you girl you don’t even know.

Not being able to speak English but having to write it on the internet while I have to speak in French? Prison. Not sharing with anyone what’s like to live half a year in a country and the other in another one? Prison. For privileged people but still, I feel alone and it fucks my mind up. I don’t recommend that situation. Game audio? Kind of another one (seen recently: a game company having all the jobs listed on their website but the game audio designer one, posted somewhere else like game audio is totally something different).

I guess any hardship that isn’t shared with people around you feels like prison at some point. Of course, even more so when it’s not shared with loved ones.

Like the show demonstrates though, people outside of your prison don’t give a damn about your prison.

Surviving here is all about perspective.

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Audio&Games

Gimme yo tool

It’s a nice post on game audio tools.

I’ll go ahead and say that I agree to totally disagree with that.

To me it’s a huge loss when tools are lost. We are not at war. There is no war. We build things. I repeat, we build games and game audio. The better toolset we have, the better teams can make cool stuff. The more we can share our tools, the better. The web industry shows it to us all the freaking time: a nifty WordPress –which is an open cms engine, right- plugin? 15 people show up on the website to make it better.

250,000 websites will use that stuff. Some will pay for extra features some will get the basic version. That’s awesome. That’s how game development should be if we want to thrive because development is hard. Reinventing the wheel is such a waste of time, we don’t need to have another audio engine that fades in/out audio streams which is why news of Fmod and Wwise going free for small projects is awesome. We need(ed) game audio tool standards and those two do a great job.

Starting from scratch without looking around is a mistake. First, to think that it hasn’t been done perfectly before you is kind of a dick move. And second, it is just smart to use the best tools available out there! It’s about creativity, not about how your tool looks like, how many files it can handle or how low you can get that CPU meter while manipulating complex reverb settings for a 3D room. Fmod designer has never been perfect but hell, how awesome it is to type a couple of lines of code, to have a sound designer doing his thing and tada, it works as best as it could while the focus on sound design aesthetic is maximum. I like it. I like it a lot. I like like it.

It’s very weird to me how game audio tries so hard to look “tech” as if we were jealous of 3D and its shaders. The microphone, that very simple and elegant technology mostly hasn’t evolved since its inception. It works perfectly, shitty ass electret mics can do miracles. Y’all know that any under $200 netbook can play 24bit/192KHz? Audio tech is awesomely low profile but we act like we have problems when we don’t. We have massive power. We lack smart tools.

A lot of games don’t have hundreds of sounds (outside voiceover). Hotline Miami has a very memorable game audio that doesn’t rely on HDR, 3D audio or 7.1 output. The need for game audio tools is not in the “more tech, more complexity” but in the “we should rethink the way it works today, was there a tool solving that?”. We don’t do that enough.

When we lose knowledge, tools, problems-which-were-solved-but-not-anymore-because-the-tool-is-dead, that’s bad for us. iMUSE did things that we can’t do with audio engines 15, 20 years later. That’s extremely bad for us. We feel the lack of audio flexibility in AAA games. We feel the weight of audio streams in mobile and mid-sized games.

I’ll go ahead and ask developers to release their audio tools, regardless. For The Love Of The Game, Yo. Let’s share and innovate.

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Audio&Games

Games as service to the rescue

Please fix your hiring practices. It’s a good one, I guess that we could extend to a lot of industries.

I feel the heat too, the more experience you have the weirder it is to sell it to an industry that relies a lot on fresh blood and specialization, the opposite of what veterans bring in.

And of course, experience  means more HR work to understand who this person is. Which means understanding game development at a pretty deep level, which is a difficult and bushy subject that HR people don’t really get into.

But as this excellent article says in three perfect points, it’s solvable if we think differently (nothing new here though):

The studio development model is broken. From an economic standpoint, studios are really just outsourced R&D for larger publishers. There are some exceptions—but for the most part, a studio exists to rapidly scale up an enormous development effort, ship a product, and then shed off unneeded staff quickly. While this model has succeeded at producing huge games like GTA 5, it is a lousy model for creating sustainable businesses for all but the very largest games. Big studio-developed titles usually don’t benefit from the creation of best practices, the institutional memory, or the perfection of craft that is acquired over the course of time.

And yes, game news are surprised when they see Irrational Games going out of business, which shows that game news don’t get it, and don’t care as long as majestic 3D is sprayed all over their retinas.

Unrealized profit potential. Games should be thought of as a type of service rather than a product to be thrown over the wall and handed off to marketers. Every game developed in the ship-it-and-forget-it vein has given up an opportunity to have the original developers continue to innovate and deliver value-creating entertainment experiences to the players who loved it over the long term.

I know right? This is where veterans shine and bring in experience. This is where those people get some stability instead of being fired at the end of the project in the studio development model right? Ten years ago I thought that MMOs and game as services would provide long term work and sustained development. When I see Disney laying off 700 people mostly from online operations last week, I realize that it’s because they still think with the old model, like the music industry with digital music they play with numbers and have some insane cash flow, so they just shift+delete those people’s jobs.

Developers and not just game developers, are pretty bad at business and don’t understand why they are treated as cogs most of the time. Except for one industry, the web. Which is one of the reason why Kentucky Route Zero, made by web guys, is so different.

The web industry changed a lot in ten years. The web changes all the time. Web developers think way more about long term, they know that it’s crucial in a world of tabs and immediate competition. There are plenty of great stories about small web businesses run by a team of two growing to healthy and pretty big companies. Web companies try and fail faster. The same in the game industry? We all look like one-hit wonder so it’s cool when it’s Minecraft, but otherwise it’s not great.

Anyway, I’m just the sound guy. Hire me.

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Me Myself&I

Fist in the air

That last blog post was sitting in Live Writer. I was looking at it, feeling a bit guilty to express my anger, annoyed of feeling guilty and then it doesn’t stop. Is it going to cost me anything later? Sometimes it’s bad to speak up, I never know when to shut up once I started to express myself. I really miss boundaries on that. Maybe I shouldn’t have a blog.

It’s sunny for four days, which is great but makes my PTCaliforniaD worse. Whenever I close my eyes I see that city. I feel like whenever I was biking Los Angeles my brain was like, “RECORD THAT SHIT” and now that fucker binge-watch those videos every time I don’t pay attention.

I rode my bike. After months of walking it’s like I couldn’t stop my legs and didn’t even want to. I did some loops.

Five years living in a suitcase, five weeks in the dust. Oh hell yeah I want to settle down so hard. Breathe. Stretch. Breathe longer! Stretch to infinite!

Wallpaper: 99%

Ceiling tiles: 100%

Two fireplaces to dismantle: 0%

A small closet to destroy: 0%

Still the attic to take care of. Physically haven’t hurt myself too much for now, but I’d rather write some last will before the next time I’ll get a back and neck rub: that shit will kill me.

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Me Myself&I

Nothing will happen. Yeah, right.

I’m not scared to be judged. At all. I don’t care about that, I care about the outcome of being judged. And that is absolutely connected to race, sorry for bringing that up again people of color. Y’all know.

Try to say to Trayvon and Jordan’s parents that chances are nothing will happen if you simply stand up. I triple dare you. They stood up. They were not doing anything wrong, they were heavily being judged and didn’t care about that. They stood up.

And then they died, murdered. The reminder is with a black president at the White House, mortifying. Humiliating, 12 Years A Slave winning big doesn’t change anything.

I don’t care being judged on my online gaming skills, it’s just that I don’t want to read/hear anything about “dumb ass niggers”. I did, doesn’t taste great, feels gross, let’s move on. In the real world outside work, being judged feels like danger and my survival guts hate that.

The respect earned from you claiming your ground is based on a broken social system full of BS. When you’re black and especially a dude, you sort of have to not do that and please everyone in this white world otherwise you are immediately filtered out as “trouble” in inconsistent and twisted ways. It’s quite universal on this planet. You need to fit more than people respect you because they never will respect you entirely anyway, so used to ethnocentrism. You can also stay in your community forever, warm and miserable because nothing changes this way.

I don’t try to please everyone I try to make things work, everything I can. Let me do my thing. The part where I don’t give a fuck about what others think? Oh, it’s been done and done son.

The problem is not to not please everyone, it’s to not get fucked or worse killed in Florida for being yourself and harmless.

Categories
Audio&Games

Games might not follow the F2P model after all

Excellent article on game prices.

I don’t think free will win. For two reasons:

– Hardware is no longer the tractor beam it was once in fact, it’s boring. Today after a decade of digital miniaturization people don’t care what hardware they run as long as they are comfortable with it. All platforms are OK. There is no “much better platform” out there.

Valve is trying to disrupt that but looking at how hard it is for console manufacturers to ship stable, desktop-class hardware (we’re in the billions of transistors per machine, imagine the clusterfuck) even with decades of experience, it’s probably insane for them right now with Steamboxes.

Why hardware fatigue is important? Because it means we’re maturing and that people will differentiate themselves with apps, not free apps that everybody can get but paid apps that could even be pricey. That’s my bet.

“Yeah, it’s an app to do [X] and it’s really awesome. They respect everything about me, no weird phone book access or shady server connection, it’s all local and private stuff. The experience blows the competition out of the water. It’s quite expensive but it was so worth it.”

See what I mean? Second,

– Developers, now that they know that they are just a commodity for Apple and Google, either they still try hard to get the jackpot with terrible odds against them, or they start thinking about making some money too to sustain their butts. Then they’ll start thinking trial/paid like the good old shareware model or Win8/WP.

They’ll start thinking shipping real nice stuff, SaaS, they’ll start to think about the user experience and how it shapes so many things instead of releasing software with such poor design that it shouldn’t even be released to the world even if it solves a problem for someone. We’re drowning in apps and software mediocrity. There is room for “star developers” that you follow like you follow a band or a movie director and you don’t need to master 3D like John Carmack to make great software or games.

So short term, yes game prices will go down as so many young developers are desperate to get traction and have heard about the ridiculous amount of money you can get from a sale or featured slot but in the long term, if you want to sustain yourself making games and software without depending on sheer luck, you’ll need to bake shit perfectly and sell it with pride.