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Me Myself&I

Cleveland’s real question

Forget about the horror of the abduction.

Forget about those sick fucks, make them disappear.

Forget about police not being so smart or this simple black man knowing something was up in this bitch.

I want to know how three young women can’t escape a house located a mile from where they’ve been kidnapped, for ten years when a 7 year old is capable of doing so. In a day.

I think at 14 I’d be ready to lose limbs to break away. I’d have shit to do, a life to live.

What kind of fucking uneducation these women got? I don’t get it. It’s almost like Louis CK’s skit.

“Of course, it’s insanely horrible and it should never happen ever ever ever to anyone….

But maybe, maybe if your survival skills and fighting spirit are that low, maybe you were the perfect candidate for a horrible news story.”

Just by respect for women who died rather than live hell, for those who fought back so hard that they finally escaped, for those going away from their own families raping them -talk about being REALLY hopeless-, for all these women I can’t just give these three all my empathy. Fuck no. I’m sorry.

The only end to nightmares like that is perverts knowing that if they kidnap a woman, they either get killed/their asses kicked or she will break away anyway and put them in jail where their buttholes will suffer. So they don’t even start.

Stopping them before they even try. Women need to be strong and there’s no way around it.

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Me Myself&I

Code thoughts

Programming is horrible. Not really because it’s weird and painfully slow but because time evaporates with this shit. I mean, in a way that is so not healthy, physically.

You don’t want to eat, you’re about to solve something. You don’t care about what’s going on around, you’re just getting how this sub-system works. I like to understand things and the “haha!” moment where you finally can do what you wanted is great and oh, so powerful.

But it’s 6 hours later, I’m hungry my body is achy, the day is over and it depresses me. I understand why coders often work at night, it’s calm and less depressing to see the sunrise.

But it doesn’t fit me, I’m a sleeper. I’ve been following everything this article says all my life. I remember my mom telling me about deep sleep and how I didn’t want to miss that stage so I could become a Super Saiyan easily.

We spend one third of our lives sleeping, it’s crucial for muscle recovery, fact retention and preparing the body to operate at full speed the next day, sleep is one of the most important things when it comes to day-to-day happiness.

So when I see every single coder ruining their sleep and diet for decades, I’m pretty sure it ain’t good.

Anyway, it makes me scared of coding it’s like going down the rabbit hole. If I start in the morning and think I’ll be able to make sound or music in the afternoon, it usually doesn’t happen. Nothing happens but lines of language that only machines understand. At least when I create audio it’s for an audience, it’s direct, it’s timeless no one gives a crap about “my code” and how I perfectly formatted it. In two years to do the same I’ll be ticking three dialog boxes.

We really, really, really need better tools to build software.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Mandingo

So I learned about Mandingo parties the other day. There’s an obviously nsfw documentary on Vice. You know, it’s the kind of thing I thought was some suburban legend but hell no, it exists.

Well, the documentary covers a Mandingo business in Florida. Florida, man. Giant snails sinkholes and swingers, Florida isn’t about the average.

But I saw that it was not just there. It’s not that a career as a black escort would interest me -though I’d probably do a great one, let’s be real- it’s the women’s psychology, sexual appetite and social construct that interests me.

How does it feel to grow up scared of black men and 30 years later craving for their cocks? Do you feel liberated, finally, or is that a twisted game of white guilt and fantasy? Also, it is well documented that a lot of women’s highest sexual drive happens in their 40s and beyond, how much does it weigh in? What about all these -white- guys with small penises who don’t want that swinger lifestyle, do they get as many plastic tools as possible? How do they deal with that and their maybe past and glorious careers as powerful men?

Is religion and its terrible view on sexuality responsible for people going nuts over sex after decades of denial in their lives?

There are so many things going on, it’s fascinating.

Categories
Me Myself&I

FocusWriter

Small tool to write without distraction. It’s free, you can save in .rtf .odt. It’s the best I found.

I made four themes with wallpapers found on the web a while ago:

Nothing fancy, but I thought I would share. Now write these thoughts!

Categories
Audio&Games

And I threw the candies on the ground

I don’t particularly like candies and never did so right from the start, I’m not that much into this game everybody was talking about yesterday.

Second, grind. Grind. Grind. “but wait, it gets better!” NO SHIT. Your insatiable brain and the effortless action of waiting and clicking a box make it OK, I guess. I don’t have an insatiable appetite for meaningless rewards you get with no skills. I don’t like starting all over in games but I don’t like either when there’s pretty much nothing to do.

Third the traditional, heroic fantasy quest with goblins and dragons. Please kill me. I still have the tab open but I’ll probably not play this game anymore. How come you get excited with that, I don’t know.

I don’t get how game designers and game journalists don’t see how a grinding fest with themes that are aimed at the same sugar-addicted, roleplaying culture can be just that, and nothing else. Looking at my Twitter feed it looked like this game was like the new MinecraftTA6 or some shit.

And what about this game culture where you either praise something or you quietly shut up because Game Intelligentsia Police? How can we move forward?

In other news like I said earlier this year we’ll see weird successes you don’t even understand how it happened, like Starbound getting $1 million in pre-order or Monaco breaking even before launch. Let that sink in.

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Me Myself&I

Boxes and pool

A lot of creative people see the world this way:

Boxes, nice ones. You go there. You’re part of that. Your role is. There are sound effects, music, sound design. There are music genres.

But I mostly see it this way:

There’s a pool. The audio pool, for instance. In it, there’s everything that triggers sound whatever it is. Then I use this whatever it is for a purpose, to convey something. Distinctions between a bass guitar or a 8bit bleep don’t matter as much as we believe they do.

It’s this philosophy that keeps bringing my ass to Japanese animated movies because this is exactly what they do. They don’t care, they use whatever could work and be original. Soderbergh cries out about how we use music in films today and it’s because of seeing things in perfectly marketed boxes, again. Same with the game industry except that there, boxes are titanium-reinforced stainless steel boxes. Hence stagnation, mutation is not encouraged.

And it’s the same with so many, many things. Where are my games with vintage filters rendering, fucked up 2D perspective, fisheye effect and so forth? Where are my giant trackpads for two players or more where people finally don’t need to try to look through their hands to play a touch game? Why can’t we have a contract for gay people that just gives the exact same rights as for marriage but -wait for it- we don’t call it marriage so that old people STFU? “I got our G-union contract, baby. we’re set!”

Are we humans so dumb that we need to put people and things in virtual, non-existing-outside-our-minds boxes even when we know that it’s fundamentally a broken system? Disappointing. Dumb.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Madhouse Redline

It’s from 2009 and I watched it again because you need to be physically ready for the visual explosion. It’s insane, you can pause every single frame and contemplate so many things. The animation is incredible, it’s crazy, full of expression.

Redline

Seven years in production, bam. A review says “you haven’t seen animation until you’ve seen this movie” and I agree.

Get it, watch it.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Black whatever

So in one case we have a 33 year old black man, ex police officer who could be legally fired for filing a false police report even if the report was true. He got fired. This man accused the LAPD of excessive force used, fact denied by the same LAPD who shot 100 bullets in a car by mistake, trying to catch the ex cop. This man sends a message stating the whys and hows of this crazy story, kills 4 people injures 3, hides in the mountains where the cops as the radio communications recorded showed "Burn that fucking house down," "Fucking burn this motherfucker," only wanted to smoke him out. Official death is gunshot wound to head.

Crime: Murder, attempted murder.

In another case we have a 19 year old white dude, a stupid ass little fucker who had nothing to do with his life but follow his dumb radicalized brother. He kills 5 people, injures 299 others, plans to do more random damage. He hides in a boat, exchanges gunfire with police and is captured and treated for severe injuries.

Crime: Using and conspiring to use a weapon of mass destruction resulting in death; malicious destruction of property resulting in death.

It’s murder, you malicious sick fucks.

Also, why the FUCK didn’t they burn that boat down? Don’t even try to answer.

Categories
Audio&Games

QTE analogy

It’s frustrating to see something in your mind without being able to express it properly.

I tweeted that melodies are like the QTEs of music and now I’m in trouble, trying to explain how or from what point of view.

I thought about this analogy because melodies are traditionally what people listening to music, play with. By playing with the music while listening to it I mean letting your mind decipher and enjoy it. Usually, melody is the first thing we get our brains on. People need to be able to connect to a song and for non musicians, non rhythmic people it happens with the melody (and yes, it’s totally a social construct from Great Westernia; melody isn’t that big in Africa for instance).

So, playing with the melody. You just have to follow a series of tones (hence the QTE reference). It’s the easiest way to make that music playing your own. It’s like you are creating a path at the same time that the engine -the body of the music, chords, rhythm, texture- creates this space for you.

If you can harmonize over music instead of following the lead, it means that you virtualize and play in a wider space than when singing a melody. Same way, if you can improvise notes in between a soft melody, it’s more interesting and playful than exclusively follow even a complex series of notes. Same with rhythm that you have to feel and keep, a slightly more complex task than following a melody.

So I thought about melody as a series of QTE, kind of a cool thing to do on top of all the rest of the music’s mechanics. I heard that it’s a game in bars and it’s called karaoke.

With music like jazz though, where there’s virtually no melody, creating one is no QTE anymore.

I’m interested in expression, freedom and creating a space for them. God I’m a sucker for those.

Categories
Music

Phat

Mixing down quite a lot of music and sound design these days so I ended up looking at levels often and it’s not that I want to freak out but I think we’re peaking now.

This is Pearl Jam’s Jeremy song.

You can see, the “body” of the sound is around -6dB, -4dB with peaks up to almost 0dB. We’re talking about rock music, three guitars, bass drums etc. It’s not like it’s acoustic.

Now, some Skrillex I don’t even remember the song but I think it’s Devil.

It doesn’t look so different for untrained eyes but trust me, it’s laughable. I didn’t even know it was physically possible to saturate a signal without saturating it at that output level. Look at this motherfucking blue square!!!! Even when it’s calm like at the start it peaks at 0dBppm/+11dBVU every time drums kick in. Unbelievable.

It’s compression. We reached the maximum compression we can do on records, that’s it. After that our bodies don’t even process anymore and we become cavemen all over again. Did you try to listen to some Toro y Moi for more than a song? This shit is so compressed and pumps so hard that even half a song exhausts me. It’s supposed to be chill…

Ultra Compression like above is like fast food. It feels extremely exciting and powerful but you hate yourself after inflicting your ears with fat, very fat burgers and oily fries. But yeah, I’m learning how to make that shit too. It’s quite fun.