Category: Me Myself&I

The internet isn’t fun anymore. Actually, that statement isn’t severe enough to reflect how bad the internet is these days, so let me try that again: being online in 2023 2024 is a fucking nightmare. There are only three websites. They are all designed to make you angry because it’s the most profitable emotion. Your aunt was indoctrinated into fascism by a page called “This country used to have real bin men” after she liked a meme about glass milk bottles in 2012. Every boy you went to school with has a podcast about football now. Your Mam once warned you about spending too much time on the computer but now spends eight hours a day playing Hay Day on her phone. AI was meant to let us lie in fields and read books, but instead it’s being used to show you what Breaking Bad would have looked like as an anime.

Someone snapped at Rock Paper Shotgun! It’s pretty true.

I stay on my RSS regime with a dash of Tumblr. Those allow me to follow reasonable folks sharing stuff. It’s healthy. It’s out there.

Quit those apps designed to make you a fucking goblin, y’all.

I’ve been indulging a bit with Larry David’s famous show lately, which is ending this year. Curb has been quite big in my life as it was a staple of our evenings with my partner back in the early 10s.

It taught me so much English. They repeat every line four times! And it’s 100% conversational stuff that happens every day. A gold mine for someone trying to get into a culture and understand what to do in public.

Except for copying Larry. I never did, but I happened to be in situations where I kind of was him.

One time we were at a friend’s rooftop hot tub chilling and one of his friend had a daughter who dared me to throw her in the water. She was fully clothed. It’s summer.

After maybe 15 minutes of taunting me I sure did throw her in there, with a lot of laughs flying in the air.

Well, her dad didn’t laugh at all.

He was supposed to drop her off at her mom’s later, and now she was wet. The kid was like “I can’t believe you did!” and I was like “it wasn’t that hard, you’re not that heavy!” and her dad was like “not cool, man”.

To this day I feel bad and simultaneously, not bad at all. It was water, not battery acid.

Pretty, pretty, pretty good times.

lmao

??

It’s cold outside. The gateway is supposed to be placed next to a window, the coldest part of any interior. It’s an electronic device that is warm when I touch it. It’s literally called a hotspot.

It’s also working just fine.

“Sixty dollars? I got sixty cents!”

Lil homie at the skate park asking how much a skateboard costs. I’ll try to get him mine next time.

It’s funny how kids say the same stuff at the same age, across different decades, different locations and cultures.

Very simple. Two reasons:

• To fight nudity. Y’all outside this country might know this, in America nudity is still seen as something dangerous. People need to defend themselves against it. Nudity is everywhere! You need an automatic weapon to survive it.

• To fight buses and trucks. Americans are dead scared of buses and trucks. They won’t pass them. If they do, they accelerate as if those big machines were going to change their minds, and jump on them for no other reason than being predators! Enters the AR-15. Every car probably has one in the trunk, just to be able to make it home safely through 18-wheelers and bus lanes.

Naked bodies and large vehicles! It’s hostile out there y’all.

Katt has me dying since last night.

I wrote about him before.

Since wheeeeen? tsksksktsktsktsktsktskts

Dave’s delivery will always be one of the best. I can listen to that nigga telling stories all day. It’s the flow, the pitch changes, the pauses, the looks. This mf cracks me up.

Not making a raucous noise about LGBTQ jokes but just let the online and offline crowd whisper how not funny those were, would have stabbed him in the heart a thousand times. Instead folks went super loud, all the way to boycotts and physical assault on stage and forgot that a standup comedian is like a boxer: they’re meant for confrontation. That’s their jobs.

So unsurprisingly, Dave went down again with his latest. He will never give a fuck, that’s his job, again.

Incentives shape behaviors. Comedians are here to explore controversy and scandalous things, thoughts and feelings. The incentive is a bit to shock, to make folks uncomfortable in a live, experimental way, yes. That’s standup comedy. So if you shock folks and that it triggers massive publicity and sold out shows, then you do it again.

There’s no need for personal vendetta or anything like this. Just business.

Now of course I really, really, really would love to see Dave explore other fields like, what the fuck is marriage? What’s going on with many men online talking about colored pills? The wild shit that people do while not sober that they would otherwise, not do? How a black Elon Musk would have been doing in Silicon Valley? Not well, bitch! And so many observations that are not being distilled because y’all gave Dave so much attention about jokes that are not so good. Waste.

It’s frustrating sometimes.