Categories
Audio&Games

Video games

I’m basically off of them. For most of my life, I thought about games daily. From their cultural impact to the gazillion questions spawned by game development. Not anymore. It’s a big personal shift.

Today I see a “Press R2” or “Press triangle for strong attack” or “Press up arrow for potions” in a YouTube video or in front of me and I feel like heading out to touch grass.

I see a “4/18” orb counter and I’m sick. Another skill tree, some crafting? Fuck my life. Opening crates sure, it’s not like I haven’t done that 48 trillion times since 2000.

War, tentacles, gore and cute overload. OK. I am so bored as hell. Sound design stays the same as it was 15-20 years ago. Slashing bodies doesn’t need to make a different noise, fair enough.

Another abandoned city because game development still can’t do fully alive cities well. So instead of inventing a completely different world without buildings, let’s just make one that used to be alive. But! Something something happened. So unheard of and edgy!

The me-too paradigm exhausts me. The second a game is popular, 300 copycats show up within a year. The second exhausting thing is “let’s combine two very popular things” and we end up with Call of Duty meets Stardew Valley where you can raise zombies and nuke your friend’s garden. It’s just weak brainstorms.

LOL but also what are we doing?

Looking at game culture from the side now, it’s wild how hidden it is. Very few people talk about playing games. Very few play in public! Games are huge and don’t exist at all, simultaneously. Or when the culture does exist in the news, it’s about groomer streamers and silly games like that checkbox one. Ugh.

This is after 40+ years of game culture. A joke! Yeah. I don’t know man.

Games don’t teach much if anything if we want to be honest. They are making folks busy for hundreds of hours for no other benefit than humming that menu melody for the rest of their lives. I’m less and less OK with that.

Gamification has ruined so many things. Another tool for coercion, distraction and control as the article says.

Meanwhile inside the industry, layoffs, acquisitions and mergers bring pain x100 left and right. Another small team of folks who worked at that big studio for 20 years and believes that their ideas and a $1M VC check are enough to sustain themselves (narrator: probably 100% not).

And of course, video games are still mostly about sequels ad nauseam. I think another Tomb Raider is in the work? What the fuck.

Watching Wukong or Star Wars Outlaws, the latest big releases which are not sequels, I’m amazed at the amount of work. The incremental progress on everything (lighting is clearly near perfect today), fluid dynamics getting there, the accumulated knowledge at Ubi (25 years of open world system design), or Unreal 5 in its full glory, it shows and it’s impressive. At the same time it all feels so predictable, pointless, corny (listen to games without watching them and you’ll understand) and unnecessary to spend a hundred bucks to check waypoints, do pew-pew behind a wall and open crates as if –again– we hadn’t done that for decades already.

Having said all that, I could play some Counter-Strike with homies and talk shit all evening right now. It would be fun. I don’t know when I’ll be able to gather 10 folks with similar CS skills around a table or two.

Maybe never. Perhaps that’s a good thing.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Writing online

https://lars-christian.com/re-do-people-irl-know-you-have-a-blog/

Yes, some do. It doesn’t influence my writing because I tend not to think about the audience when I write. I do the same when playing music, which I did for years before starting a blog.

The benefits of writing for years about life are incalculable. I didn’t know when I started!

At [day job], my writing skills have been very useful if not extremely useful. My ability to parse things the right way and bring clarity, comes from blogging. My grammatically OK English is from years of cleaning it on my blog. My analytical skills, used left and right when writing about any topic ever, have been refined and sharpened with blogging. My knowledge of things has increased dramatically by writing about those things (looks up on Wikipedia: oh shit! I didn’t know). My blogging started businesses and deep ideas, like designing a 3D printed house, which is in progress and really exciting to work on. I wrote stuff that I read years later like “I had totally forgotten about that post and damn, that perspective is on point” or “ooooh, that’s why I think this way now lmao”

I’ve always thought of this as a kind of freedom. A license to be myself. To explore my interests unapologetically and without having to explain myself. If nobody cares what I’m doing here, it means I’m free to do whatever I want. To say what I’m thinking about whatever I’m thinking about.

Exactly. This freedom of developing oneself is not always easy (countless grimy/whiny posts will spawn in your mind), but when you get there, publish something interesting and feel enlightened, it’s just so dope. Great, great feeling.

I think it takes a long time to feel good about a blog. It really is like a plant: there’s not much going on at first. But then it blooms, it grows, it looks lovely. Your mind grows, gets excited and it’s hard to put that feeling down to go back to platitudes, social dogma and all that good, stale stuff.

I think blogging can create beautiful minds that are much more calm and resilient than what the algorithms in social media do. I think we need that? Yeah.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Vacay done

Pure bliss.

The last time I had been floating in a pool was in 2015 in Santa Monica after some handyman work, in the middle of those wildfires that were raging on not so far away. The sky was filled with smoke and the sun was red.

Nine years later I’m in the crisp morning desert air, listening to water glistening around my body before being hit by triple-digit temperatures drying me out in an instant. Sunscreen and coffee smell.

I want to be back already.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Vacation ordered

It is now on. Pool, evening skating, music, here I come.

Meanwhile things are nice, moving well and the light in the morning is the best. Mmmhmm, August.

Very rough first costs estimate to build my Halftogon house: under $130K. Considering that I was aiming at $120K in 2013, that’s not bad. Add how I live and it’s most definitely doable. Dope.

I also realized that it can be completely made out of precast concrete, the old school 3D printing method. There are some great companies here doing that and this might be good enough for airtightness but I need to do more thinking.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Neil Gaiman

I was like “hey I haven’t seen my dude Neil in my Tumblr feed in a while I used to see him all the time what is he doing probably shooting a movie or something let me sOH MY FUCKING GOD NO HE DID NOT”

Men, please shift+delete the fucking Abusive extension. WTF bro.

Women, I’m not sure girl. I’m so sorry and I’m also frustrated as hell.

Categories
Me Myself&I

Funny plate

There’s this car in my neighborhood and its plate is GIRL IDK.

I kind of want to get mine to say GRL SAME now!

Categories
Audio&Games

Left CS

Counter Strike, the 25-year-old game which allowed folks to play with a left hand on-screen since 1999, received a massive update last fall in which the left hand option was gone.

What on motherfucking earth is this?

The developers of the game that aims for realism, the game that added legs to the models (probably for a possible future VR version, more realistic), more realistic physics, lighting and more precision in movement and ballistic, said “in our minds, no one is left-handed in the real world”.

As a left-handed person who has always played the game with a left-handed model and who was looking forward to Counter Strike 2, I’m so confused.

After players complained for 7 months, it’s been back since April. Except for the Molotov Cocktail, which for some reason stays a right-hand only weapon. What the fuuuck?

As to why Valve would do something this ill-prepared, my guess is some game director bullshit insisting that players experience the world and maps the same way, thus optimizing everything for right-handed folks. And perhaps because of that, some corners on some maps are more advantageous to lefties. Or it could be that shadows being calculated from one point of view only, changing the model on characters doesn’t properly work with pre-baked environment. Or some technical issue in that vein.

Anyway, CS2’s launch has been a disaster (replacing a game people bought with a free-to-play one that’s missing tons of features is BAD) and this contributed to it.

Another software-as-as-service abusive relationship. I know shipping games is hard but disdain is not good for growth.

Categories
Me Myself&I

I keep reading stories

There is about 9 million developers making apps for iPhone and Android. It is very hard to get actual numbers but it’s pretty safe to say that about 1,000 are doing very well. The rest? Not so good while they submit their work for which they will give 30% to the mafia by default, and then maybe get it into the store after insane stories about requirements and what not.

It’s absolutely wild how much developers are in an abusive relationship with Apple and Google with their stores and platforms, and how they hate it so much, they cheat every second they can to get what they want.

Meanwhile the duopoly treats them as whiny nuisance and constantly ghosts them. Good vibes.

It’s fascinating because it’s been almost 15 years of this now. It’s just part of the manipulative, algo-heavy, I’m-hiding-behind-my-digital-identity zeitgeist that we are in I guess.

Categories
Me Myself&I

maddening

I was there at the start of the thread about Chris Cole being an abuser, by chance. 66 pages later, goddamn.

Meanwhile they just put a new statue of Kobe and his daughter, and all I can think is that this dude raped a woman and got away with it, unscathed.

Fuck. Them. Fuck this toxic dude mentality. Fuck the dying patriarchy. Fuck this complacency. Fuck all the yes-man men in the world.

So much work to do jfc

Categories
Me Myself&I

Thangz

Let’s see: feeling weird left and right thanks to that latest variant, bitches indeed is weird, France has no government per se and is hosting the world in a week, here one dude gets shot the other dips, snapped my skateboard in half on a weak back lip yesterday, enough!

The vacation I’m too lazy to organize is going to feel real good.