h. Play

Second week. I have now seen, dealt with so many dysfunctional shit that it’s a miracle that I’m not sick. The transition is always weird because I always think that it’s going to be easier than it is. That I’ll jump on my stand-up home studio and go back to my music but it’s grey, the vibe is definitely not the same in December in Paris and finishing tracks made in sunny LA… It’s not easy.

Finally, I’m soon going to port my game prototype to Unity 4 with full, official, FMOD integration. Thank god the devs made it happened in September, I was waiting for it for the past three years, hacking Unity 3.5 and crying. This is why people don’t code, too many moronic things to deal with.

I hope it will work technically. Then I’ll be able to have a bit more fun building up mechanics and less anxiety (is my tool chain dead?).

I also successfully pitched a game to the great Baratunde Thurston, so much work to do though and we’re both super busy. But that game could will have a huge impact. So excited to use all the knowledge I have to make great stuff. Every time I watch some game design guru or TED talk about how to design best, I’m totally green-lit in my approaches and that makes me even more determined.

I’m now searching for a can-pay-the-rent job in L.A. so if you have something for a good looking immigrant, please, please, please email the fuck out of my email address.

Never forget:

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
                                    Calvin Coolidge

It’s just started.

A week in. Pretty brutal, let me tell you. #backtofrance #ugh

Designed in 1935, built in 1936. Before rockets exist, 30 years before NASA and 60s futurism, 40 years before Star Wars.

So I went on Mid-Century Modern architecture binge in the past few days. Lloyd Wright (crazy life!), the prairie school, the Case Study Houses, Wright’s disciples like John Lautner, Rudolph Schindler or Richard Neutra.

I adore that modern style. I always loved futurism but what makes me crazy is that some of these houses have been designed almost 100 years ago (1920s), built a little bit later and still, in 2013, look super modern! It blows my mind.

We have Wifi and devices we could not imagine even ten years ago and we live in houses and buildings that look like we’re in 1800s. Even compact or mid-size cars have beautiful design today so why don’t we do that with housing? House design really demonstrates how we suck at big scale change.

Melvyn Maxwell and Sara Stein Smith House. Usonian as fuck. I can’t stop contemplate.

Despite designing houses to a ridiculous level of detail (up to furniture and knobs), which would often double the budget decided, there were not that perfect. Wright’s iconic flat roofs were often leaking after a couple of years and although he used locations to get as much sun as possible in the house –passive heating- or very innovative radiant floors, a lot of these houses were/are hard and expensive to maintain, too cold and too hot.

The thing is today we have the technology to have those problems solved. Wright’s didn’t have triple pane glass for example, which solves the glass problem (lets the sun go through as much as the cold) entirely. Leaking flat roofs? We have rubber technology for that now or even better, green roofs. I’m surprised Wright wasn’t into this, he seemed to love nature and the technique is as old as Vikings are but maybe he didn’t want to think about any old building technique, he wanted to disconnect entirely from Europe and the Old World.

Super fascinating stuff to me. Wright’s focus on harmony and structure talks to me, bassist-composer-passivehaus-lover.

November, an hour ago.

I was wondering why people moving to another country would come back and forth in their lives pretty regularly. Obligations. Now I know.

Meanwhile, constant comparison between my life in California and my life in Ile de France. Just putting them together in the same sentence sounds weird. Who wins? Nobody wins. Through different lenses, different angles and different distances, there are preferences. It’s an endless mind game.

These days I tend to feel an unlimited amount of creativity in L.A. while I feel most at peace in the City of Light. That actually sums it up very well.

Sometimes in France people tell me “tu remontes là-haut?” which means “are you going back up there?”, like the USA are obviously an upgrade or inaccessible, higher. It’s always sounded exciting as hell, especially from France’s countryside. So when I look around me and see a typical US street like on TV when I was a kid and that I’d dream of riding my bike there, it’s always a bit surreal. And still exciting.

Obviously, there’s much more to living somewhere than just spacing out at a LA stop. The American Dream these days looks like a spinning bottle going faster and faster pointing at two things:

It’s total bullshit and always has been.
It’s possible to make it.

It might not matter at all. For now it’s the classic, weird blues a couple of weeks ahead of switching back to Paris for a while.

I often hear that we can solve multiple problems at once. No we can’t! We prioritize. Sure, we can feed a baby, watch TV and put a finger in our nose to pull out some dirt at the same time but we don’t if we want to fully do what we have to do: you need a mirror and to go deep to nicely get that booger. My point is there’s an order to follow always, be it for a mom, an operating system, a company or sending back home a space module. To solve problems aka get shit done you create lists and you prioritize items.

To me prioritization starts with women. Let’s start with half the planet, shall we? Once equality is achieved with them, much better. Then let’s go with race because well the same, it touches a lot of people and it’s been going on for way too long. Let’s reach equality here too.

Well, I’m pretty sure if all that was to happen, a lot of bad things like how we treat our polar bears or how we damage our soil would stop immediately. We wouldn’t even need to fight for it, it would be simply common sense in an equalitarian world. Gay rights? Of course guys. A broader definition of gender? Absolutely. War on drugs? Aborted. I mean who’d give a shit now? Who would be against that in a genuinely equalitarian society? Voted! Bam, the next day it’s reality.

Instead we get super intense on problems that are children of parents that we don’t blame for nothing. We don’t connect the dots: we want more women at the top while they discover their own bodies in their 20s or are still raised as little princesses, it cannot work can it? While same sex marriage is great, I really wish people would throw as much energy against sexism and racism which are thriving forces still, no matter what your political views are. I wish media would be relentless on that, instead of playing on how people divide themselves through archaic values like marriage and who can use it. I wish I would see people posting about saving foster care kids at least once instead of dogs over and over. Yeah. It hurts, I know.

People don’t want or don’t have the time to read the whole story. They simply need an external cause to defend to feel better, preferably popular, and that’s it. There’s no reflection on a question like where the fuck the main problems come from?

So let’s start the sequence, step by step. It doesn’t work? Start over. Connect the dots. That’s how we do.

When I was 12 years old it was perfectly OK to watch Robocop or Predator,” Bleszinski says, “but the second that a breast was flashed on screen, my mother would attempt to toss a blanket or a coat over my head. That probably explains a lot of my adult issues. Americans in general have really weird ideas about sex and violence, and that micro-example kind of summarizes it nicely.

Cliffy, speaking of sex in games. The article describes the difficulty to get sex in “big games” right. The article doesn’t mention anything about app stores ban on anything sexual, like it’s totally normal.

I was raised Southern Baptist, and no one ever talked to me about genital selfplay. So I didn’t ask about it and didn’t cum until I was a 22-year-old graduate student living in Florida.

Twanna wrote about her first orgasm. She is far from being the only one raised like that.

Both Cliff and Twanna are around my age, maybe a bit older. America’s sex culture –or lack of- is frightening and twisted as fuck.