Fascinating article on Japan and the rise of the Single.
SEE WHAT I DID THERE ALL RIGHT.
A survey in 2011 found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women aged 18-34 were not in any kind of romantic relationship, a rise of almost 10% from five years earlier. Another study found that a third of people under 30 had never dated at all. (There are no figures for same-sex relationships.)
I say rise of the single instead of “no sex” because well, it’s not the same. Masturbating is having sex alone and only Japanese know what they’re doing in their bedrooms.
"Both men and women say to me they don’t see the point of love. They don’t believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. "Relationships have become too hard."
It rings true for like, lots of people amirite. The point that older generations don’t get is that it really became hard to do everything with someone, with virtually no safety net. when it was possible post WW II (the Great Acceleration), it was in a certain fashion that is no longer acceptable (patriarchy, jobs for life). We knit around those concepts, bearing with more or less of that old system that brought us to adulthood but barely works today with couples working for relatively small wages, struggling much more than their parents, regardless.
So the norm explodes. In Japan mostly, we’re still all fucked up by catholicism and stuff anywhere else. Even more since 9/11 (“we need to stand against Muslims, let’s get married!”). Sigh.
Younger, I was wondering how my generation would hold on in our 30s because obviously, we knew that marriage wasn’t that much of a great thing to do. And that it didn’t matter to raise kids. But in a mix of laws, social pressure and history we’re lagging. It’s coming though. I predict a huge amount of singles in their 40s and 50s in the next decade in Europe and US.
According to the government’s population institute, women in their early 20s today have a one-in-four chance of never marrying. Their chances of remaining childless are even higher: almost 40%.
It makes total sense. It’s totally taboo to talk about that but really, we don’t need more humans around these days, Mother Earth would agree. Nothing personal against kids, just a question of timing. Maybe in a generation, fifteen twenty years from now it will become natural to start a family in Japan because everything will be much easier, cheaper etc so that people can actually enjoy a family life and not try hard to survive it. Until then, hello Single Life!
Older generation don’t understand that you can mainly care about yourself AND still care about your surrounding. Because we know our surrounding are affecting us, so we take care of them. It seems like an equation that hurts their brains. “if you’re selfish, you don’t care about others”. That was before globalization, grandpa.
