Category: Me Myself&I

I have always looked at religions from the side like, “Hi. Why you’re here?”.

My dad was doing catechism and it never worked with me, I was laughing at the silliness of it. I wasn’t a rebel but for that thing, totally. No offense but it seemed too dumb. First I was reading a ton of stuff about rockets and space (future Ariane 5 was in the work) and science and nothing seemed limited for humans so why would I ask “God”? And if God is the answer to everything, stop asking questions and bugging me about it then.

Second my mother didn’t participate in any religious activity nor she was talking about it. She was the only person not to go to church when it was happening (rarely) and for my Mini Me, that was something. She was pretty much never wrong so if she wasn’t going, that was probably the right thing to do, wasn’t it?

 
Some people truly believe that. Think about that.

I went to a private catholic school later, but religion was only a cross on a wall and that was pretty much it. The 90s were starting and religion in France seemed to be a thing of the past. Meaning, nobody in the streets would wear anything religious or nobody would care, US based TV shows with references to God –yeah, quite often- always were a source of lol, medias were always ready to kick religion in the balls at the first occasion etc. All we had was the pope message for the New Year which would always triggered “isn’t he dead already?” jokes about him, this old dude from the past, having no influence, except maybe the Latin world. The pope always has been a Mummy Star there.

Seriously, I thought at some point that religion and mostly the Christian thing, was about to slowly die around 2000 and that sounded about right for the New Millennium filled with obvious jetpacks and holo-computers.

Turned out to be the exact opposite way.

I think that even worse than the wars triggered by 9/11 is the resurgence of religions and especially the ones based on the same stories. Soon after the tragedy every single president in Europe was having a trip to the Vatican and when Jean Paul II died it was almost like we forgot about all the stupid shit he and his posse supported. JP II dies and medias with live TV events ask, seriously, if the white smoke announcing to the world the election of a new pope is white enough??? That really was the 2005 WTF moment. Yesterday I watched a video of a young French woman saying about an aggression in the metro “Thank God protected me”. That someone younger than me born in France is turning herself to religion and pray  (for Islam “infidels” to be punished I suppose) kind of hurts.

It simply shows a high level of desperation. We fail to build a post-religion social structure evolving with us while providing security. That’s the challenge. Technology is accelerating so much, changing paradigms, transforming our lives, even businesses have a hard time keeping up with it. States are so far away it’s not even funny, not capable of providing this balanced social structure we want, making us angry. In this constant changing world I can see how an unchanged and stable system like religion is appealing, even more in the US where the state is so not providing enough. But to me it just seems insane to go this way…

I don’t know religion much, but I know they aren’t that right

Religions tend to be so totally outdated for our times, especially for women, how do they rise in popularity in a Facebook and Internet world, I don’t know. It makes me think about someone like Ron Paul, a Republican who can be wise voting against the Iraq War, opposing the War on Drugs , not supporting death penalty, being gay friendly or be tech friendly and at the same time being so WASP that he doesn’t believe in evolution (so yes, he’s pro-life). The dude is a libertarian until it hits his religious nerve. Religion is just fucking people up, that’s all I see.

These days, here in the US people laugh at an over religious woman but you have to be in a very religious country to found something like Scientology and make it work so good. In France people think that Islam is bad for women when everybody knows how bad Catholicism has been for women since forever. Like any religion I’d say.

The point is religions today should not be part of culture or being seen as part of it, period. It was, History is here to prove it thanks. But it’s not now, at all, it just makes things worse from France to Germany to NYC. Immigration and melting pot are unstoppable so let’s make it fluid by not fighting over really old virtual stuff that don’t matter in the world of today.

People prefer to rumble between groups instead of just being themselves, individuals who can enjoy any culture of the world and have their own preferences without attacking or degrading others because they don’t share them? Fine.

I’ll be somewhere, playing with robots.

Somehow this company is under the radar when it comes to complain about software but jeez, they should be on top.

I remember the times when I didn’t get what was the difference between Shockwave and Flash. I didn’t give a damn because it was all so great to see and try this brand new technology. All my graphic designer friends were just too happy and it was like we’re going to do animated movies for the intertubes and become billionaires.

I’ve never had problems with Adobe until I use their products of course. Photoshop is such a standard that there’s no question about it (although they’re slow at updating some obvious stuff). For their graphic tools,  their first business, nothing to say more than competitors.

But for the rest… Their fucking formats. The PDF. So awesome in the concept. So awful to use, even professionally the software is full of bugs and UI inconsistencies.  And Adobe Reader is more annoying that Norton. Maybe not, but really close.

Nooooooooooo

Flash. As long as it was used for games (and especially downloadable) it was great but since it became the standard for media players on the web, it’s not ok. The difference between having Flash installed or not when you’re browsing is astonishing, it’s more fluid, it doesn’t hang, the computer stays cool etc. But of course at some point, you have to fucking install the plugin…  I made it for a month without it and I now use a Flash blocker. HTML 5 should fix the problem but it’s still a long road from being able to deal without Flash, the slow and cpu intensive media player. Damn I hate it.

I’m creating e-learning content with their tool Captivate and besides the annoyance of having updates all the time for the Helper (???) Adobe AIR or for Flash security, the software is a pile of shit. They rewrote a new version that has been late and went out in June this year. It’s worse. Like, opening a template from Adobe and having the app crashing immediately. Every time. The menu Insert offers you to insert New Slide and Blank Slide which is the fucking same thing. I can’t target old computers with Flash 7. The AS2/AS3 mess. The Help is awful with a shitty in-app browser, I can’t open the help pdf with Foxit Reader (gotta love Acrobat The Retard) and so on.

It’s a tool meant for productivity and all I get is terrible frustration by loosing time trying to do simple things that barely work.

They sell Captivate 5 at a whooping 800$. For a world-class company that size, with that price and a poor quality like that, it feels like they’re spitting in my face. It’s the first time I’m so pissed off after purchasing a download. I think I’ll never buy any Adobe product ever again.

Adobe just doesn’t give a shit or they’re in panic mode, reaching for every creation tools market possible and extend their shitty formats use I don’t know but it’s now really ridiculous.

Yes, there’s no big competition against them and that’s the main problem.

Releasing some music always feels like being naked while presenting some architecture project to a group of people.

The workflow in my mind looks like this:

“Good…Mmh ok so there’s a conflict of sound at this moment, what should I do, lower this synthesizer volume or cut through frequencies with the EQ or lower the cycle of that operator? Let’s try and then apply the master compressor to see if it works… Almost… Now if I just get enough of reverb feedback at this moment, that should add to the consistency in the background… Right, so that grooves but because the HPF adds a lot of overhead on this track, I’m going to lower it at the same time… Nice curve, be smooth, less than -4 dB.. OK! Now rewind and PLAY”

Repeat. And that is just the mixing stage, but the point is that I really feel building something, creating it with plans, expectations, failures, progress and some sort of deadline… Daniel Cook did an amazing blog post about visualizing the creative process and it fascinates me how well it defines design, could it be music or a game or even your own way of skateboarding. The creative process is the same. It’s probably the same for a lot of people. Even you.

Anyhoo, here’s the last track:

Patchwork by Harold

I wish it was used in some demoscene stuff… Enough, let’s play some bass.

Or the complicated relationship between software and hardware and how the software is always the most important thing.

The best example of the complexity would be the HTC case. HTC makes phones. They’re so fast at iterating their models that they jumped into the software wagon after witnessing the iPhone’s kick in the mobile butt. HTC started its work on user interface in 2008 with TouchFLO 3D which became HTC Sense, both for Windows Mobile and Android. Really neat integration with social media and stuff that wasn’t available anywhere else in these ancient times, last summer.

iOS/HTC Sense/WP7. I’m totally bored with icons now, so WP7 is really appealing to me UI/UX wise.

These user interfaces (software) really had a huge role on selling phones (hardware). Today, manufacturers all try or do that: customizing the phone’s OS they’re selling. Which is the reason they all embrace Android and are not big fans of Windows Phone 7 which doesn’t allow customization like Windows Mobile 6.5 did. And yeah, they embrace Android now because the next version, Android 3, will not allow that skinning and rebranding shit.

The biggest bad point of this customization craze is that carriers and manufacturers abuse it and basically lock phones on features. Thankfully it’s mostly a US thing. In Europe, laws are behind consumers on that matter and phones can not be locked to carriers, it’s anti-competitive practice. Carriers already fuck us up quite well, thanks.

The second bad point is that having a customized phone software makes you unable to update easily and you all know how much it’s important these days. HTC finally released the update of HTC Sense for Android 2.1, except that Android is now at 2.2 and Google just released a new Gmail app that only works on 2.2… See? What was supposed to be a seemingless experience, is not. And HTC is trying the same with Windows Phone 7: adding a layer of user interface because it used to sell phones.

Manufacturers and carriers, face it: users don’t need your interfaces and widgets anymore because the main OSes of the market are today well mature and are looking good, thanks. Moreover, developers NEED a homogeneous market so that they can focus on the quality of their products and by making special OSes or blocking features, you’re not helping that.

True, the closer the relationship is between the hardware and the software, the better it is for everyone. The problem is that if it works, people will always forget about the hardware: I don’t have a HTC Hero, I have an Android phone. That really sucks for hardware people. How can they differentiate themselves? Yep, software customization and bigger marketing (SamsungGalaxyyy) that’s about all.

Hardware people want to shine like Apple. The problem is Apple works because it’s small, the Apple way cannot work with dozens of hardware makers and multiple OS providers.

Can’t wait to see the output of HP’s Palm critically acclaimed webOS.

Seriously, the tablet market is going to be such a mess especially for developers. That’s not good news, more time spent to try to make an app work everywhere… Like usual right, but I thought we were learning from our mistakes somehow.

This is where a hardware-wise open platform with a widespread OS like the couple x86/Windows, serving everybody quite well from the developer to the user, is pretty remarkable. Because looking at the mobile market and the overall trend in technology from a business standpoint, this kind of balance sounds like a dream.

I absolutely cannot imagine what it’s like to not choose your parents like 99.99999% of you. I cannot feel what it’s like to be linked to someone by the mighty Randomness of this Universe, to look like him.This feeling doesn’t exist for me.

I’m born through one of the most tragic freedom in this world, which is abandon your child forever. I am the result of a highly improbable fate that would have been impossible to achieve without people believing and people trusting each other, even if they are fundamentally different and wouldn’t share anything if I wasn’t here. I was in the middle of an amazing flow of respect and will to do good between opposites. Nothing too religious, just people making moral contracts that yeah, they’re going to make this work (guys, thanks again).

This made me very sensitive to randomness in life. I don’t like it. It reminds me of the start of my life. But this is how all of you started. You started by being randomly attached to two people by blood while I started by being attached with my consent to five people by moral contracts and paperwork.That’s quite different.

I can’t stop thinking that the way people are born allows societies to allow inconsistent behaviors and say it’s ok. Because I always feel more annoyed by these than anyone so far. 

My whole life started badly but quickly went really consistent, like maybe too much. But it made me what I am now and I could have been a much worse person at so many stages… 

The most inconsistent thing for me is how you people behave. And I have a hard time to know how to handle it, what to say knowing that my perspective comes from being born in a total chaos followed by an extreme consistency, comes through social barriers inexistent to me but ruling your world… It’s like I understand you very well while I don’t understand you at all at the same time, alternatively.

That makes me socially awkward, silent. Dreamy. Alone.

Exactly. Picture by Cris Dobbins

Me by Verdell at the Hollywood Bowl

September, Earth Wind & Fire

It’s was the final after three weekends full of music, mostly RnB and Funk. Thanks Los Angeles.

Also, Machete.

MACHETE IS KIND OF LIKE @DRUNKHULK

The story of an illegal immigrant. I am myself now fluent with all that ICE, DHS, illegal alien status stuff.

It ain’t pretty.

Pretty much all I (own) need is here. Even the hat.

I’m digging Sean Bonner’s thoughts about things, how they end up to own us, what you really need to be happy etc

I always have been tempted to reduce things. I got this philosophy by starting my home studio in the 2000s. I hadn’t the resources to buy a Fender Rhodes, and a Juno and a Moog or these really expensive bass pedals that you use once in a while.

I always tried to reduce the amount of stuff because I want to be mind-free (fighting the addictiveness of the buying reflex) and not having to deal with a lot of inconveniences of owning things like:

-Room

All that shit takes room, a lot of it.

-Dusting

Dusting is obligatory and I hate it so hard. The less I have things, the easier it is.

-Maintenance

Things can break. Can have to be fixed. Things can be fucking annoying (expensive).

Having less space, more work to do around things I own is not making me happy, it’s making me tired and confused.

So the only things I really want to own are the things I need everyday and other than my music tools reduced to less than a dozen of piece and some funky pants shirts and hats, well I don’t care that much.

I guess I got that from my parents. I grew up watching them invest their money in their business, always. No “little pleasure” like owning a brand new car. My dad has always been using his company’s car as his main vehicle. They always made me aware of inconveniences of ownership. The only thing worth owning for them was a great house to rebuilt and customize. I kind of think the same.

I grew up with libraries in every town with shitload of music movies books to borrow, copy, encode. I quickly learned that access was the important thing. Once you’re in, you’re in. And you can come back anytime you want. Why dusting these things?

Of course I always felt in conflict with the overall feeling that you have to own things and mostly cool things, to shine in social circles. But it wouldn’t matter. If you have access to culture you still can talk about it. You don’t have to own a Picasso to discuss his style do you?

So I’m already at a low level of ownership. What I care more is to live in places feeling good to live in. Moving around or staying at one place is not important –it depends-, but the places you are going to be for some time need to be great!

I wish we would spend more time to make spaces where we live better places. Like how L.A. buildings should all have their rooftops available for residents or how AC should be carefully designed and integrated to reduce noise pollution to the max. Of course moar bikes everywhere. Stuff like that.

Because I don’t want to try to get the best place. I want all of them to be great, like I want to have access to all the culture.

I don’t want to spend time searching for these basics. I’m lazy.

 
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Hasn’t been too productive. Celebrating Verdell’s birthday in Palm Springs was an experience I’ll never forget. My first time in the desert, mid august, reaching some sweet 46°C. My butt look like I did the Tour de France in two days.

Prototype brainstorm. The gameplay is solidifying, the technical feasibility is more a problem. But maybe I want to do too much at the same time, if I lower the features it’s much more doable. Maybe I should do two little games instead of an ambitious one. That could do. But that’d be better in one. I have to try both I guess and make two first version.. More work. *sigh*

I found its name too and that is important to me. A related, snappy, good sounding name.

*Dave Chappelle voice* THATSRIGHT.

Does having children make you unhappy? What if you change the word children with love?

Also, monogamy seems to be unnatural for our sexy species. What is interesting is this: “But when people began living in settled agricultural communities, social reality shifted deeply and irrevocably.” Why property has to transform us so much, often in a bad way, even on deep levels like sexuality?

Can I have some tool that makes it easy to convert databases, a sort of Swiss knife so I can convert mysql to csv to xml to mssql to vdb3 to whatever?

???

I know. WHYYYY???

Sometimes I’m like

LMFA by Harold

But then sometimes I’m like

Alone by Harold