Category: Me Myself&I

The number of things that can happen in a week and spin your head a thousand times.

Fred L. Shuttlesworth died at 89. He was a civil rights movement fighter. An excerpt of the NYT article about his life fighting over stupidity:

In one instance, on Christmas night 1956, he survived an attack in which six sticks of dynamite were detonated outside his parsonage bedroom as he lay in bed. “The wall and the floor were blown out,” Ms. McWhorter wrote, “and the mattress heaved into the air, supporting Shuttlesworth like a magic carpet.”

When he tried to enroll his children in an all-white school in 1957, Klansmen attacked him with bicycle chains and brass knuckles.

Derrick Bell died at 80. First black professor at Harvard Law School. Article here.

In 1980 he left Harvard to become dean of the University of Oregon School of Law, but he resigned in 1985 when the school did not offer a position to an Asian-American woman. After returning to Harvard in 1986, he staged a five-day sit-in in his office to protest the school’s failure to grant tenure to two professors whose work involved critical race theory.

 

My brother-in-law Sean Wilson died at 38. I don’t have any NYT article for him but he was a good man. Generous and loved by everyone. He will be immensely missed.

I guess it stops here as my grand father has not yet passed away but fuck, he’s so close to it. I know it’s going to happen soon.

 

Of course, the news of you know who died and made the headlines all week, really annoyed the hell out of me. That was just gross, too much, ridiculously too much, you all disgusted me so bad over this shit. Fuck. Decency Jesus fuck, decency. You don’t have a fucking one. Of course I know, it’s just that the timing wasn’t good.

A society overdosing on shallowness, glorifying fakeness and worshipping a freaking, useless social status through devoted consumerism and unlimited love for a dictator bitch. I mean, we should just all die in a fire right now, shouldn’t we?

I was kind of sick today, I thought it was the 20°C drop in temperature but it might not be the only thing cramping my stomach.

Prestige and polish.

I’ll copy/paste the blog’s comment on this one: Miles Davis’ style was always very thought out, there were no accidents — every detail said something about him, and was there for a reason. It’s easy to look at this picture and miss the subtle, but very telling, details. Note– the absence of a breast pocket on the sportcoat, or buttons on the sleeve. The smooth, uninterrupted lines of the soft, almost invisible drop shoulder, close-notched coat collar, and the rounded club, or penny, shirt collar. It all adds up to a pretty specific look.

Now back to now:

4 fucking thumbs down, dude.

Hey Miles, what do you think about this retarded outfit up there?

 

Right. But check out this one:

Dude on the right is sexier.

Raphael, seriously what do you think?

 

But wait! There’s more!

Sad motherfucking face

Can’t believe this shit either!

The thing is, if you don’t give a fuck, why should I give a fuck about you? If you look like you can’t even dress yourself like an adult, how am I supposed to give a fuck about you?

There are no words. I’m trying right now, to find them.

A couple of weeks that I was looking at the case. A couple of years that I heard about it. I can’t structure my thoughts.

I just think about the incredible waste of a human life living in death row for so long, for nothing.

I think about this: the following year, the federal funding of the Georgia Resource Center, which helped represent Davis, was cut by 70%, leading to the departures of most of the center’s lawyers and investigators. How Democrats and Clinton killed Troy’s hopes in 1995.

I think about the West Memphis Three who got the chance to have some evidence found 15 years later, reached a deal with the prosecutor who still thinks that they are guilty. I guess having three movies about the case, Metallica, Henry Rollins selling stuff for you helps much more than fucking prayers.

I think about Casey Anthony. Her story, her fucking pictures and how everybody was like “it has nothing to do with race that she gets away with it, it’s just reasonable doubts”. Fuck you. When she was in prison charged for giving false statements to law enforcement, child neglect, and obstruction of a criminal investigation, someone paid $500,200 to get her out of jail. Half a million dollars. After a few years of the case, she’s out. She is not even in prison. She is out. 400 pieces of evidence were presented.

I think about Duan Buck who killed his former girlfriend and a man, has been sentenced to death and has been “lucky” that a psychologist testified that Buck’s being black could contribute to his "future dangerousness". That was a little too much.

I think about the pretty famous or not that famous white powerful rapists out there, who can enjoy their lives.

I think about Anthony Walker, young black man randomly ran after and killed in the UK with an axe in his skull. In 2005. The two white dudes who did this are scheduled to be out of prison in 2028 and 2023. Alive.

I think about the absolute disaster that is black America. Retarded fat ass BET church whores. Fuck you rappers, fuck your fucking faith, your gold and your prayers. There is no God, you dumb fucks. Troy is gone. 

If Katrina’s entire story and Troy Davis case still make you believe in this shit, just kill yourself because you are part of the problem.

I think about the tech world, where all the future jobs are, where I’ve always been, where it’s pretty much completely devoid of black people.

I think about France where a group of black people is thrown out of a manifestation celebrating the end of slavery, for no reason. In 2011.

I think about my family. My freaking huge, 100% white family, who can’t really grasp what I feel, even when they try hard. They just can’t.

I think about this old white man who was buried with pictures of me earlier this year, who loved me and whom I loved very much too.

 

It’s like I know it’s possible. I know it, I live it. It’s exceptional, but it’s real.

It’s just that the entire world keeps telling me no, that is impossible. That reasonable doubts, 22 years of jail and massive support all over the world are not going to change shit for a black man’s life. That the system is in every way, hostile to me. That I am an anomaly.

I’m just terribly angry. Fuck you people. Fuck you.

The title couldn’t be truer: If You Already Hate Windows 8 Then You Hate Technology.

If you’re not intrigued by Windows 8 and Metro, if you can’t recognize that it’s a big leap forward, if you’re not excited about what it means for you, personally then you don’t really care about technology; you care about brands. You care about platforms. You care about politics. You’re a fanboy.

Bam. And I work in this environment. Fuck me.

Guys, it’s retarded. The Windows Phone/Windows 8 Metro UI is great, no question about it. The tile system with direct information is much better than a boring icon grid. Sorry. You’ll see when you’ll try for a while.

But it’s made by Microsoft. So the tech world just can’t process that the company they love to hate is doing a better job in UX than the companies they love to love. Some people are still bitching that XP is lame and yet are still running the ten year old OS. Retards.

It’s plain sad to see someone saying “so I tried Windows Phone/iPhone/Android, the Windows Phone is the best but Jesus it’s made by MS so your cock is going to fall and your kids will die in a fire”.

I thought we were not in high school anymore. It’s business and innovation is welcome from anywhere, shutting it down just because it comes from one particular company or another is so childish, it’s embarrassing! I can’t believe I have to protest that shit.

How a developer/designer -yes you too Adobe sluts- could not get excited at a brand new UI running through new devices like Kinect, tablets, phones and not-so-distant Surface, for all of which you can use the language you want to build cool stuff, using the computer you want, sorry they were probably short on blow and hookers… It is exciting, like the iPhone was too. But bigger, by scope and possibilities. The only thing that should be booed is the future Windows Appstore and its 30% BS. That, sucks.

There’s so much denial, for obscure personal, stupid reasons (“loved that brand hated that brand when I was young” shit).

It’s the same in the sub-tech world that is game development. Developers defend Nintendo to death but there’s nothing to defend right now: Wiiware/DSiware are more than underwhelming, developing for Nintendo today is a terrible experience compared to others and the 3D in the 3DS was LAME. It was gimmicky. It wasn’t as big as touch screen or motion control. We all know that. It was Nintendo saying “shit, we are printing money with the Wii/DS but we need to stay at the top; let’s do something trendy”. Wrong move. High price, wrong, showing the world that you expected to make a shitload of money out of tech demos and remakes. Sony called, they want their business plan back.

Nintendo is just getting old and greedy as every single leader in the tech world is getting at some point. They might get back, they might not. We shouldn’t give a damn you know? Nintendo has sold more games and more game systems than anybody else in history, why the hell would I care that much about them making mistakes, because they don’t want to see or listen? I don’t. I want them scared so that they move their asses.

Meanwhile, a dude from Sweden offers three fucking files on his website, minecraft.exe minecraft.zip and minecraft.jar, makes insane money and people are like “oh my god I never thought it could work, I always wanted to develop for [that brand] anyway so I win” . No, you don’t. You are interested in the social status of bragging about developing for [that brand] and don’t care about the business part, crucial for your job. You can’t afford to say I don’t give a damn, see current layoffs. And the business is massively shifting, terraforming these days.

How development became so shallow that you have to code in the trendy language du jour or a specific platform if you want to have some friends? What happened? Did the web inject this superficiality?

It should not be about the name or emotions tied to a brand, it should be about what tools are offered to us, the creators. Nothing more, nothing less. We have to review the tools available and compare them to build these crazy complex experiences and computer games. If Nintendo had helped game developers like MS or Apple did instead of being a bitch who doesn’t even want to talk to indie developers who don’t own an office, they would be in a situation where they’d have a clue today.

I never wanted to work on Xbox or 360 that much, but I knew they were dead serious by looking at their second gamepad, while Sony the King was dicking around with a boomerang. I saw Apple having no clue about what to do with their iPod Touch until they saw that people were downloading so many games. They hate games at Apple, they never, ever got it. They probably think games as things chimps do.  As long as it allows them to sell hardware… Anyway, it was pretty cool to make a game on their stuff because at least they understood that ease of access to build and sell apps was kind of a big deal.

I wanted to love Android development and it turned out to be pretty bad in many ways. I’m still watching.

I don’t care about brands and loyalty, I care about what all of these huge players have to offer, if they are really trying and not just faking it, and what I can do with that. So when I see an opportunity like the new Microsoft eco-system is showing, and that people are dismissing it just and only because of the “Microsoft” part I’m like, “what a bunch of whore ass bitches”. Competition kicked MS ass, they got busy and brought something nice and innovative. It should be positively welcome. That’s how things move forward.

It’s funny because tech people are the most atheist-like people I know and yet, they are more religious and afraid of change than a scientologist mixed with a zionist.

For real.

Panic

Fixed my headphones. I know! It seems so lame to care about that but I swear, wearing the same pair for ten years almost daily creates a habit to the most precise organ the human body possesses: ears.

This is a Sennheiser HD200, a 60-80 bucks at the time “DJ” headphones. The thing is lightweight, has a great FLAT frequency response and protects from outside noises. It’s perfect to monitor my work. they’re also very easy to disassemble.

By the way, a flat frequency response should be what you search for when you want to buy headphones or speakers because you want to be the closest possible to what the artist wanted to paint, right? And you also don’t want to feel tired as fuck listening to over-EQed music. So screw Dre shit and any hardware pushing basses so much. You want bass? Dude, pump up the volume. Good headphones almost sound lame. Flat. You got it.

So the right ear stopped working, just like that. I’m like OK, I have other headphones so I try them… Holy shit. It’s like having someone you don’t know in your bed. Gross. I had to put them down 30 seconds later. Who the fuck cut the entire mid-range?

Sennheiser discontinued this particular model. Bummer. I don’t understand why but even the damn manual isn’t available anymore. I saw one pair on eBay. And I see people searching about them. /saves eBay searches

The new 200 series are awful, cheap, not as comfy or even good-looking. I just don’t get it because their technology and speakers are so good. And before the HD200 they had even more comfortable same-looking headphones that of course, I couldn’t get my hands on at that time. Discontinued!

I guess you can’t have a growing “niche” business with products that last more than ten years… The equivalent of my HD200 is a HD25. It costs 200 bucks.

A global study shows that more gender equality leads to more sex. It seems pretty logic to me. That’s what feminists always said about heterosexual relationships, they just didn’t market that part enough I guess. Didn’t want to look “slutty”. It’s complex.

Anyway the end of the article is interesting to me:

"In countries where women are at a big disadvantage, they restrain sex, so the price is high and men make a lifetime commitment to support them to get sex," Baumeister says. "Men will do whatever is required for sex."

Men do whatever is required for sex and yet they don’t even know their own body well enough to know that they can achieve unbelievable orgasms on their own. They think that a juicy vagina is required to have the best sex and yet they never try a different approach other than simulate the said Holy V with warm noodles (never did that though, I’m too lazy; also, it’s pretty fucking gross). I am no longer in this situation since I found my p-spot and learned how to stimulate it. You guys are missing out so much I want to punch you in the throat for harassing so many women when you should just stick your finger in your butt and shut up.

You wouldn’t have to trade anything, you would have a “true” relationship, would it be for a night or ten years. It wouldn’t be based on a ridiculous “deal”. God, am I the fucking only heterodude to see benefits from the situation of knowing more?

Homosexuals, bisexuals know that. They use their clitoris or prostate stimulation a lot, they don’t just think penis hole penetration. Sometimes I believe that it makes them superior compared to people stuck in this awful sex/protection, protection/sex trade which is the traditional and no longer required way to have a relationship, thanks progress. But in the collective mind it is still the way to go, unlocking every kind of physical and sexual abuses that men usually perpetrate much more than women. It legitimates that shit, guys. You need sex? Just fuck yourself.

It’s crazy that we have so much information about stupid solar systems light years from us, but female orgasm remains an evolutionary mystery? In 2011, you are kidding me right? It’s insane how men are full of resources to send a space ship to the fucking moon but can’t touch theirs without screaming like little girls.

I think we all know who the pussies are, out there.

At some point after reading about economic history of the West, it seems that everything went down with the 80s.

It also seemed like the 50s/60s/70s -what we call in France Les Trentes Glorieuses- were like the best years ever. Looking at these charts you can see very distinctly why: redistribution of wealth was successful, people were working more, for more and everything was cool. Everything made sense.

I love to keep in mind that my grandparents and parents grew up and prospered with this environment. But you can already see on the first graph that at the start of the 60s, productivity was gaining traction faster than pay, thanks machines! It was almost invisible but it was happening. It’s amazing to see that it follows social progress or lack of:  after 68-70 the hippie fantasy is over and oh, this is where we’re starting to get screwed with a productivity rising much faster than pay, again thanks to machines and social consciousness withdrawal.

But that was nothing. I’m born in 1979. Look at the motherfucking graph! The next 30 years define what it is to not give a fuck and screw people over. Now we’re talking.

Today, I mean it’s really hard to not think about giving up just about everything. Older generations don’t or barely understand the insane world, paradigm we live in: we are asked to be multi-talented, to work a lot for a small pay and to not be upset about the fact that we’re struggling to get a place to live. I mean, if all that stress and work were paying, I’d be OK with it. That’s what happened during the “Glorious Thirty” in France and the West.

But mastering so many skills, fighting for a good pay -within your company, with your client or with taxes- and fight to have a place, probably making yourself bleed to get it… It doesn’t make sense and I feel so angry about that. Because we obviously know the solutions but the system profits a bigger generation than ours…

The good part is, I think it made us tough as shit. We’re capable of facing problems, we’re starving to find solutions and truth, we’re extremely flexible and these are strengths that both generations around us -boomers and Yers- don’t really have. These are good survival skills so we shall continue to do our thing and just stick to it.

“The question we have to begin to ask ourselves is not how do we employ all the people who are rendered obsolete by technology, but how can we organize a society around something other than employment? Might the spirit of enterprise we currently associate with “career” be shifted to something entirely more collaborative, purposeful, and even meaningful?”
Douglas Rushkoff

Looking at the past 60 years and thinking about all the kids you guys are making, I’d say we need to shift pronto.

Word? Word.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling. I’m jetlagged ten hours in the future from the Pacific coast but my stream of information still comes from the past, from the US. Which is weird because it’s news, from Facebook to rss. It’s like total reverse from how time works on Earth. I’m in the future, getting the now talking about the future, from the past. It’s freaking me out.

Before when you were changing time zone you didn’t have this problem as you would have a strict cut from the location you were before. With our digital lifestyle, it’s so much blurrier. And I have both timezone wired in my brain now. The vicious part is that it’s more comfortable to wake up and read the news from the day before (which are the news of the day too, a looong day) than having them during the real day, compromising your productivity. It’s cool to end the day and have the time to check tweets and links from the US, the source control of 90% of what’s happening online (most of the interesting links I see in my US Twitter stream show up in my French Facebook stream, a week to three months later). I can really dig a subject instead of saving it for later that is, never go through it when I’m in California.

Problem is, it’s not that sane.

I’m here in France with my English name, my English writing, my English thoughts, my English reading, my English music and a hell lot of English culture. Which obviously raises the following question in the neutral-logic part of my brain: “so… What are you doing here again?”

The line between “it’s complicated” and “what a clusterfuck” is often thinner than expected.

Sun coming up Europe

It’s kind of something to eat some not bad cheese omelette fruit and yogurt with coffee, while comfortably watching the Earth waking up at 30 000 feet. It’s hard to beat that sunrise view and it makes me think about the engineering of planes, the past knowledge and that humans sort of kick ass with their mechanic birds. Isn’t it amazing? God damn it always gets me.

Heat in Paris felt like having a 15,000 t warm blanket stuck in my face, classic. Funny how the same temperature doesn’t feel the same at all.  After ten weeks sans water from the sky in L.A. a tropical storm decided to dance in Paris tonight. Feels better already…

That’d be great if UPS could ship my place to CA.

Weird to think that there’s so much information in saliva.

I think I’m scared. Here I have this 23andme DNA kit ready to go. This DNA kit would give me answers about predisposition to disease and also where I come from, pretty exactly.

32 years later and finally, I have the opportunity. But I’m right in the middle tendency I-don’t-want-to-know right now.

For disease we’re now pretty sure that genetics play a small role in the life of an individual compared to his/her environment which tells much more, as Dr House knows it.

And for knowing from where I come from… I’m scared it’s going to change me. Not knowing this fact was the first playground for my imagination when I was a kid. Where do I come from… Awesome I can be whatever I want! Let’s say my grand grand grand-father was a pharaoh and then my mom was from the US OK? Or maybe an alien, a black Super Saiyan. Yeah sounded good.

I’m scared the results would give me a sense of affiliation that is just not relevant to my life. From the beginning until now I feel that this reduced sense of affiliation gave me an advantage, I get to see the big picture much faster and clearer.

Let’s take an example with a situation where people feel a need for affiliation: 9/11. Now across the world, some people said it was horrible and some people felt that it was right. Some people created conspiracy theories and some others, like me, are like “this shit is not so tight”. There’s no feeling, just no definitive answer.  Now if I was affiliated to a part of this world let’s say, Egypt or Tunisia, that would probably make my blood turn differently and affect my thoughts.

Another example, when I was a kid and would receive a French ”son of whore” insult. In my mind it was like “well, it’s technically totally possible that it is the case”. I was already “above” these primitive concepts of insults, it very soon in my life felt like afraid puppies barking at me or each others. Directly in the position of looking at a system instead of being involved in it. The big picture. Often in my face.

It’s great to be “out” of this sense of affiliation, by design. It’s great to not be like well, most of you. Now I need to exploit that shit.