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Me Myself&I

It’s like a bad joke.

If you’re challenged in life, you’re supposed to talk to a therapist.

Therapists require money, quite some. If you’re challenged, you might not have access to that money. You might have trouble to even pay for basics like food or shoes.

If you vent out to friends, they stop wanting to see you right?

If you let friends vent out to challenged-you so that you can forget your own issues, you start looking like fucking Gollum.

If you stay alone, away, it hurts and things don’t get better magically.

If you socialize heavily, everything feels shallow as fuck and you feel empty for days.

If you look for help, people think you should man up.

If you don’t look for help, it doesn’t come either.

I’m pondering the emergency. Writing helps. Sound is the best.

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Me Myself&I

Playoff horizon

Could my Spurs miss them? Will the Cavs make it to the ECF? Nothing is less sure. I don’t care about Cleveland so much though but how could San Antonio stay in the race?

Well, maybe the staff wants to preserve players for next year. But that’s not how it works, all those new players need playoff experience. If LMA and Kawhi are back in full effect, they could upset tons of people because nobody has played against them in ages. That would be a serious advantage in the ultra-competitive West. Pop is the smartest, we’ll see.

I miss watching Kawhi so much.

Speaking of the West, the Pels are super scary now. With Okafor and Mirotic added, AD can fest while Jrue is tearing all defenses apart while defending like a demon. He is the most underrated player this season. He is crafty as hell, you don’t know what’s going to happen but bam, 2 points in yo face that’s what happened. They’re a nightmare in the fourth and they have tons of experience in OT. They will hurt bad.

The Lakers won’t make it, the Jazz are ahead and definitely strong right now. My man IT doing well considering what he’s gone through, enabling LA to win in Miami for the first time in ten years. Not bad at all.

3s are cool until they’re really not cool, killing the game.

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Me Myself&I

I Hate Atlanta

It’s so good.

I hate the simplicity and minimalism, so on point.

I hate that I feel Earn especially when he says after inhaling, “I’m good”.

I hate how the show is always the same shit and that I can’t get enough of it.

I hate that I recognize René & Angela, Breakwater, L.T.D, The Delfonics and Curtis on the first beat, even filtered out.

I hate that I’d love to work on that show. Or the computer game version of it.

I hate that I’d love to make a show like that, based on my book. Or my friend’s life.

I hate that I’m anxious AF and that this show doesn’t relax me.

I hate that Atlanta feels like a dream that I want to watch again.

I hate the clichés and love the clichés.

I hate Katt *soft damn* Williams for being great. I hate the cast for being so dope.

Atlanta is good. I hate Atlanta.

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Me Myself&I Music

In The Summertime

Produced, recorded, performed, mixed and mastered by Harold in Los Angeles on an AMD A10 computer.

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Me Myself&I

Actual megaproblem here

Porshe Mission E

So, electric cars don’t make noises. Sports cars are supposed to though? Car fans are really into roaring engine sounds. How will they survive when they buy a $150K car and you can only hear gravels under the tires in the driveway? Are engineers ready to play some engine sounds in the car so that the driver feels powerful again? What’s so great about noise, especially loud fart noises from an exhaust? High pitched sounds from Prius cars are annoying when there are a lot of them around.

It’s an interesting design issue.

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Audio&Games

Paid saveslot. They did it

Yoooo.

It seems Metal Gear Survive only comes with a single free save slot – if you want a second one you’ll have to pony up a significant chunk of extra cash.

Metal Gear Solid requires you to create an avatar, which is tied to your single-player and online multiplayer save file/account. If you want to start a fresh playthrough, you’ve got to create a new character, which means you’ll have to delete your original save or cough up 1,000 SV Coins. Konami is selling their premium in-game currency in various set amounts — 550 SV Coins will set you back $5, while 1150 will cost you $10.

If you share your Steam, Xbox Live, or PSN account with family members, each additional player will have to spend that extra $10 to play with their own character.

This is out of control. Also, this is successful: Metal Gear Survive is apparently selling well.

The sunk cost fallacy has become standard in Games as a Service. This is where the focus is in my field: how to funnel those Gen Z kids. How to tractor-beam those people that hoard digital “goods” for hundreds of hours in digital worlds. How to make them feel guilty for quitting. And all that casino and slot machine psychology.

Man.

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Audio&Games Me Myself&I

Glover

I felt that article so much. I see comments about Donald but you guys miss the biggest point:

Tina Fey, the show’s creator and star, told me that the answer was in large part yes; she admired Glover’s talent but hired him because funds from NBC’s Diversity Initiative “made him free.”

There’s a wildly missing consciousness in game development and computer entertainment. Yes, some kind of affirmative action needs to take place. This is how we got the very refreshing and needed Atlanta show. Black people have been waiting for years to get their own quirky, special thing that makes us giggle and memorize lines (I still haven’t recovered from the fact that once a black teenager asked me if I knew Gucci Mane on the playground and that I didn’t reply "I locked that nigga up too"). It all happened thanks to a Free Donald Glover, subsidized by a giant company. Sometimes capitalism does things right to un-do the things it did wrong. It’s rare, but it happens.

Any kind of affirmative action ideas are not frown upon in the computer game industry, they’re not even on the table in 2018. "There are already pushing for women so much already!!" would say the average dude working on games. And yes, it’s messed up that we need those kinds of initiatives but as you know, we didn’t create the unfairness in the first place. Accountability needs to happen. And yes, the laws of survival and progress suggest that people who can survive for years, maybe decades in an unfriendly environment have to probably be skilled, reliable, talented, driven and pretty good. It’s just mathematics. We have to overcome more. We have to deal with so much more. That makes us stronger. The fact that we don’t get hired though, is just politics ("meritocracy" and "culture fit" spirit humming around in games).

It’s dramatic that none of that is discussed at all in one field but is an open secret and prints money in the next field. Both being about entertaining people in the evening. It’s crazy.

10 months that I’m doing some help desk stuff every day in the middle of black LA. Basically working at a version of Issa’s We Got Y’all only for adults. GDC is coming, there will be a few discussions on the topic, most white people will be like "interesting…!". Most Asian folks will not even care for a second, a handful of black folks will hope things will happen and then nothing will fucking happen. And I’m supposed to remain calm, witnessing all that year after year.

I’m a little tired to see everything unfold or not unfold.

It’s not too late though. It’s never too late.

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Me Myself&I

There is one GOAT and it’s MJ tf

MJFirstQuarter91FinalsStats

This is the end of the first quarter, during the Bulls’ first finals in 1991. MJ makes mistakes, gives the ball over, gets blocked. Chicago is nervous. The Lakers will win that game on the road.

But right there in the numbers and the beautiful baskets and defense, you know the Bulls are getting that championship. After losing to the Pistons for years and after sweeping them, they’re not in the finals to laugh and have a good time.

MJ is the GOAT because perfection: six finals, six rings thank you very much, you scrubs. That’s just so pure and immaculate, how dare you compare.

But the biggest thing to me that I never hear here in the US: MJ brought basketball to planet earth. You have to understand, there are millions of teams and sports out there. Most sports fans knew Magic, Bird from their performances. As a kid James Worthy was my hero (unknown in France). But in September 1991, everyone was talking about that bald dude that flies and shit. Fucking everyone across the planet.

MJ is the perfect combination of beautiful basketball, stats, beautiful body, stats, leadership, stats and an addiction to winning and dope sportswear. He is.

The next GOAT needs to win seven times without losing once, to look handsome and bring basketball to Mars. Good luck with all that.

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Audio&Games Me Myself&I

Kaleidoscope town

I think I am in it.

Looking at game industry jobs, eyes bleeding. Looking at the same pages for years, receiving the same answers for months. Black Panther still resonating. Black Panther numbers are out. They’re impeccable. Diversity can and is lucrative as fuck these days. No surprise here.

BP_BOOM

Hollywood, for the love of money, gets it.

The game industry is so missing so much. Oh my god I’m almost 40, the industry is 40 and I haven’t seen things move enough. I thought this would happen naturally –by way of follow the money and progressive white folks, right?- but it hasn’t at all. Despite constant chatter and proof that there are people ready to tackle that. I’ve been ready for so long. I’m knocking at doors eternally. It’s not happening.

Someone needs to come through.

It’s mind-melting.

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Me Myself&I

Black Panther

Yes spoilers following.

As a black immigrant with zero black relatives,

as a computer expert (game developer and computer nerd since 1987)

as a dude who doesn’t watch trailers and doesn’t care about superheroes (not per se but because they bring this weird “not everyone can do the job” vibe to society, which is problematic)

and who just saw Black Panther this morning,

I have feelings.

First, for sure when I was growing up and saw that there was a black superhero called Black Panther (which was my favorite animal, like probably tons of black kids), I loved it. But it annoyed me, the comics were lame as shit. Or I was too young to comprehend them.

Fast forward to now, looking at black families rushing to their seats with super-excited kids, in the world we’re living in… It’s definitely different and much more positive. I love it.

This article covers it all. There’s nothing to go too deep into on the Killmonger/MalcomX angle because as you know, it’s still a movie that is supposed to attract as many people as possible. They probably battled in the editing room for days and weeks. The first cut was over 4 hours I think?

I was shocked and saddened by how Killmonger kills his girlfriend. I believe in a movie with so many strong women front and back of the camera that this scene exists to remind black men that they’re, also, doing bad shit. It wasn’t gratuitous. We can celebrate blackness, enjoy some black entertainment and get some nested comment on Black Love and Relationship (black women sacrificing themselves for ungrateful black men). If it was gratuitous, then it’s a shame and I’ll blame it on the story and the 2-hour or so cut (how will we be able to incorporate her later on? Kill the character).

The sound mix, sparse subwoofer pulses, rich percussions arrangements and raising voices silencing everything were super awesome.

Three things I’m annoyed with:

– Western Technocentrism

It pisses me off to look at skyscrapers and public transportation as the most amazing science-fiction, as “the city of the future”. First of all, that’s the fucking present. And second of all, it doesn’t work well. NYC and Paris have the same issues. Stay stuck in a train between stations for over a hour and see how you like the future. Live with an upstairs neighbor who walks with the delicacy of a buffalo, you’ll see that it’s not the limitless future. That’s the opposite.

Please reimagine the futuristic African rural shit, that could be so much better than what I saw.

Wakanda’s science fictional city should be about amazing living areas that are hiding behind nature and yet super futuristic and blending with African art. It should be about individual vehicles picking you up anywhere, anytime (which is something that is happening right now in the US with Waymo). MAKE ME DREAM WITH INTERESTING, BOLD TAKES INSTEAD OF DOING THE SAME DUMB EUROPEAN TECHNOCENTRISM THAT DOESN’T EVEN WORK WELL UNDER LOAD IN THE REAL WORLD AND WE KNOW IT

– Monarchy

Rituals, tribes, kingdoms… That shit is old. I want NEW shit. Like a leader leading an actual democratic system where everything is voted real fast & real good because the system is liquid. That would make everything so much more interesting. No dumb ass combat with Killmonger. He wouldn’t have been alone. He would have brought a congregation of black men and women who have been left out in the world. They would have put pressure on those lazy ass Wakandians and that would have been so much deeper and interesting and funny. I know, action movie. And superheroes. And fist fights.

– Representation

I have an issue with that because on one hand, it’s great, but on the other hand, we need black kids to be able to do whatever they want, even when there’s no known black folks who did it before. Look at African countries in the winter Olympics. Being determine to do something because it’s just you and this thing and you know that you will do awesome, is the strongest, purest, most unbreakable determination you’ll ever have. It needs to come from yourself. If you have black representation, that’s great. If you have black mentors, that’s a jackpot. If you don’t have none of that, you still have you. You’re enough. You’re the shit. Plan, manage, conquer. I know it feels impossible. But some of us did. Some of us are. Focus.

The problem of representation is that it hides all that you know, elbow grease that is the most absolute necessity. Representation is not an elevator. It’s a poster in the staircase. It’s encouraging and that’s important. We like to forget about the tenacity part and we forget about it all the time.

Anyway, that was fun. Also the red warriors ladies can get in formation at my front door, thank you very much.